 Guest post by Paula Borba Controlling Stress in Our Daily LivesWhen we talk about the frenetic day-to-day life, full of tasks to be done or current illnesses, the name stress arises somewhere. That's because stress affects about 90% of the world's population, according to international health organizations. But after all, what is stress? Evolution of StressStress is something ancient, with different evolutions. We can say that Man was already living under this greater tension, which is stress when he needed to fight against animals, hunt, and seek survival. There were tribes, guerrillas, and disputes between civilizations until the World War, which is an undeniable fact of great stress and trauma in the population. Today, in a more civilized world, we can say that there are other forms of stress: pursuing good jobs, having a good social status, facing market competitiveness, overload of daily activities, needing to experience a bit of everything, seeking overall life satisfaction. Living with StressIs it possible to live with stress without suffering health damage? Yes, there is the positive side of stress, which is that physiological sensation, in other words, that energy that our body needs to keep us motivated to achieve our goals. It is necessary to learn to recognize if this "stressful" pace allows the individual to maintain good functional performance and engagement in their activities, so we can say that the person is underproductive stress. However, suppose one perceives that the stress level is leading to a loss of quality of life, impairments in functionality and performance, or the emergence of signs or symptoms that did not exist before. In that case, alerting to a possible pathological stress level is good. It is usually associated with prolonged and constant exposure to stress. Physical and Psychological ImpactsWhen stress becomes an illness, we can observe its manifestation in two ways: physical and psychological. The individual may start to experience an excess of physical complaints such as chronic pain, excessive fatigue, muscle tension, changes in bowel function, whether diarrhea or constipation, changes in appetite, either more or less and sleep disturbances, including excessive drowsiness or insomnia. In terms of psychological changes, we may notice anxiety, distress, lack of joy in daily life, disinterest in things they used to enjoy, easy crying, irritability, and loss of sexual interest, among others. At this point, it will probably be necessary to reevaluate one's life, make lifestyle changes, distance oneself from potentially stressful situations, and sometimes seek the help of a mental health professional or related fields such as lifestyle medicine and psychology. Managing StressWhat could be done to avoid being affected by the stressful daily life? It's essential to understand each person's limit. A certain pace of life may be stressful for someone but not for another. Seeking to prioritize one's life and following more or less a schedule can help avoid overextending oneself with tasks and commitments. Striving to balance daily life with moments of rest, leisure activities, physical exercise, healthy foods, and sound, restful sleep are strategies to escape stress. Do you think you'll need to set aside such special moments or large spaces in your schedules to put good moments on your agenda? Not exactly; it's simpler: noticing yourself is essential. Stop! Notice how you're feeling. This can be done with small breaks in your day, like stopping to move your body, stretch, and have some water, tea, or coffee. Stand up for 5 to 10 minutes, enjoy a beautiful view beside you, and appreciate nature and a sunset. Your brain will stop the autopilot stimulus and reconnect with yourself. Processes like these are scientifically proven to generate adequate well-being substances called neurotransmitters. After these breaks, you'll return to your tasks with more energy, physical and mental disposition, concentration, and even new ideas! After all, our brain must relax to retain new information and perform well. Take care of your body and mind, always! One is the language of the other. In stress, our body speaks when we don't perceive it mentally. Pay attention to your limits, take care of yourself, and love yourself more daily! This way, you'll use stress's positive side to make significant lifestyle changes! Enjoy and start now!
0 Comments
Before writing full time, she blamed her messy house on homeschooling her four daughters, who are now out of school. Paur is the author of the middle-grade fantasy, Isasnora Snores. She blogs and hosts a podcast, Talking to Myself. While cleaning could be a priority, she’d rather be traveling with family, hosting game nights for friends, or reading a good novel. Find her online at www.clpaurauthor.com, Instagram - authorclp, or Twitter @ArmorCate. Interview with Carol PaurThank you Carol Paur for taking the time to chat! When did you know you wanted to become an author?I was ten-years-old and had written the story of Tommy the Toothpick. When did you first consider yourself a writer?I was ten. Who is your biggest inspiration?My Family How do you come up with your ideas?My ideas actually are always flowing inside my mind. If something strikes me I write the idea down and make a folder on my computer. Sometimes the ideas stay there because they're ludicrous. Other ideas, like Early Summer, took a few years to incubate into an actual novel. Being in nature, traveling, and spending time with family helps generate new ideas. Are your characters inspired by or based on real-life people?Maybe. I am trying to protect the innocent. What comes first, the plot or the characters?Sometimes it's the plot; sometimes it's the characters. What would you say is your most interesting writing quirk?Making friendships with my protagonists. How did publishing your first book change your writing career?Publishing my first book let me know that I could do it. It had been some vague nebulous dream. It encouraged me to keep writing. At the back of my mind I tell myself if I can't find a publisher I can always publish the book myself. After three-self published books, I've been fortunate to find publishers willing to publish my work. Have you ever gotten writers block? How did you work through it?Yes. Each time I sit down to work on a project, my mind seems to go blank. I give myself permission to write anything knowing there are rewrites in the future. Soon, I find myself going over my scheduled time. What are you working on now?I'm pitching several picture books; I've started a cozy mystery series; I'm working on the rewrites of a YA novel; I'm exploring writing a YA horror novel; and I am always writing some picture book. What advice would you give aspiring authors?There will be lots of naysayers out there. Don't listen to them. For me it was always, "Writers don't make money." They were right. What they didn't know was that writing gives me a reason to live. I feel nothing when I am not writing. You will probably need to have another job or have a spouse who supports you, but don't let anyone tell you it's a hobby. Writing is a vocation. Respect it. What do you like to do when you're not writing?Read. Hike. Travel. Play games. Plant flowers. Look outside my front porch when it's snowing or sit in my patio when it's warm. What are three things that are unique about you?My DNA; I did standup; I looked into being a nun. Is there anything else you'd like to share?I am grateful to my family and to any publishers/agents willing to take on my projects. Orange Blossom Publishing Books by Carol Paur  Guest post by Karen Pedersen Travis Creature ComfortsAs the oldest of three kids, I loved being a big sister. So, when I had a child of my own, I always planned to have another. But life rarely goes according to plan. When I became a single mom with an only child, I knew I had to get it right. I only had this one chance—there were no do-overs. The pressure was on. And my baby wanted a baby. “When can we get a baby?” my daughter asked from her car seat when she was three. “We can’t just ‘get’ a baby, honey.” “Yes, we can,” she said as we passed by the hospital. “They have them right there.” “It doesn’t work that way,” I said, catching a glimpse of her in the rear-view mirror. Barely more than a baby herself. It was clearly time for another talk about the birds and the bees. My baby wanted a baby. What’s a single mother to do? Maybe, just maybe, it was time to get a puppy. Our 14-year-old German Shorthair Pointer had just passed away and our house was empty without her. My daughter tried filling the void with other animals. She named the worms in our backyard. She collected frog eggs in glass jars, hoping they would hatch. She even picked up a garter snake on our walk, holding it up to show me how “cute” it was as it wrapped itself around her arm. “Can we keep it?” she pleaded. “Nope.” No way. That’s when I decided we would get a puppy. Not just any puppy, I thought to myself, but one that looked and acted exactly like the quiet, calm, older dog we’d just lost. Once again, things didn’t go according to plan. Zippy was an adorable pup. She looked like a mini-me to our lost pet—a graceful, green-eyed, long-legged canine that could go from zero to 60 in three seconds flat. But, unlike her predecessor, Zippy was rambunctious—prone to scratching, barking and running away. As she grew bigger, I grew increasingly overwhelmed. When she wasn’t knocking us over with sheer enthusiasm, she was jogging in place on a leash, longing to run. I realized I wasn’t being fair to the dog. After finding a hunter who was eager to take her, we found ourselves once again without a pet. Eventually, guilt got the better of me. I tried filling the void with a hamster, but it simply wasn’t the same. My baby still wanted a baby. And my mother, who loved being a grandmother more than anything in the world, wanted her to have one, too. Once my mother decided to do something, there was little anyone could do to stop her—especially when it comes to pets. Growing up, we always had a menagerie of animals underfoot. If she wanted us to get a dog, I knew that sooner or later she would talk me into getting one. But I didn’t want to fail. Again. So, I proceeded with caution. In the meantime, my mother was on the hunt for a puppy for herself. When she found the “perfect litter,” she convinced my daughter and me to “come have a look.” As anyone who has ever gone to “look” at a litter of puppies knows, the experience never stops there. “These are the best dogs,” my mother said. “They never get bigger than eight pounds.” A perpetual puppy, I pondered. Interesting. Go on... “And here’s the best part: They never, ever bark!” This from the woman who taught me that, when something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Nonetheless, we adopted a small, white, fluffy, barking little furball named Skippy. My baby finally had her baby, and he served us well for nearly 15 years. Fast forward twenty years and the tables are turned. Scrolling through social media, I see pictures of friends with grandbabies perched in highchairs wielding spoons like swords. Toddlers trotting across the kitchen floor, their little buts wiggling in thick, diaper-padded pants. Cheeky smiles of kids in car seats on their way to pumpkin patches. Adorable. My little girl is an adult now. She and her fiancé just bought a house. And she is not yet ready to have kids. So, what’s a grandmother-in-waiting to do? Enter Vivi, my beautiful, black-haired, green-eyed, crumpled receipt fetching grand kitty. “Hi mom. We’re going out of town,” my daughter texts. “Can you check on Vivi?” “Yes!” I write back, eager for kitty-cuddles. I can work with that.
 Guest post by Sharon Wagner Be like Samwise and Frodo and Help a Writer OutFriendship isn’t like a Lifetime movie. Often, our tribe can disappoint us. No one knows this better than a newbie writer. Most of you are counting on your friends and family to be your early readers and the choir that will exalt your praises on social media as soon as your masterpiece lands on Amazon. These are the same friends and family that sent brownies when you were studying for exams in college. They saved you from life’s bullies, attended your wedding, and always remember your birthday. They even helped you carry box after box when you moved into your first apartment. They love you, man, right? In The Lord of the Rings, Sam follows Frodo to the hellfire of Mordor, like a loyal dog that Frodo had saved from the pound and fed steak at every meal. If Frodo had written a book, Sam would have bought it as soon as it launched and shared Frodo’s precious words on social media. I bet Sam would have shouted the news from New Zealand’s mountaintops and brought a copy to stash in the Shire’s little library. But your best friend probably won’t do any of this. That’s why you need to support other writers; they will understand when you need a literary friend. Here are some spirited reminders to help you find your Samwise: Reach OutHave you read a writing article that inspired you? Reach out to the author and tell them what their words meant to you. Express what you learned and thank them. I reached out to an author once who wrote an excellent piece for Author’s Publish, and eventually, she blurbed my debut novel. Flash forward; she’s an editor at a small press and asked me to be part of an anthology. We’ve had each other’s backs numerous times, and it started with a simple email. Samwise carried Frodo many times; if you carry another author, they might schlep around with you, too. NewsletterDo you have an author newsletter? I hope so. Most importantly, subscribe to other debut authors’ newsletters and actually read them. Maybe you can do a cross-promotion with them—a newsletter swap. But you won’t win many Sams if you don’t open their newsletters, learn from their promotional efforts, and connect with them. Don't Burn BridgesDon’t burn bridges. I had a bad experience with two successful authors before my debut launched. They left me in the lurch, and I had to search for new blurb candidates. But I didn’t burn those bridges, and I’m still friends with one of them on Facebook. When I have good literary news, he’ll like my post. I want to play the long game. Perhaps this author will help carry my ring someday, on one finger or another, and keeping those connections could pay off in the long run. ReviewsDon’t forget to review your writing mentor’s books. I’m in a successful author’s Facebook group, and when she launched a new novel, I read and reviewed it, even though she hadn’t read or reviewed my book. But she was happy to follow me on Instagram, and maybe someday she’ll hold my ring! Be kind. After losing two blurb authors, I gained a best-selling author in my genre by reaching out with humble sincerity. Afterward, I shared her book on Instagram, and I plan to take another photo with her book on my next travel adventure and share it again. Pay it forward, and you may reap future rewards. Support your peersSupport your writing group peers when they publish a book; hopefully, they will support you someday. It seems obvious, but some peers might withhold help like a stingy Gollum. But you’re smart enough to play the long game. Follow other authors published at your imprint or press, and maybe they’ll follow you. They are your peeps and might be building a following just like you. I’m no expert at connections, and I wish I had more golden influencers, networks, contacts, and friends in the industry. But paying it forward is good business, and this is a friendly nudge.
 Guest post by Caroline Kelley Guiding Our Children Through |
 | Caroline Kelley, M.Ed is first and foremost, a mother. Following, she is an early childhood educator of over 20 years and humane educator spreading peace throughout our education system. |
 | Bio: Victoria Grageda-Smith was born in the Philippines, the eldest of ten children in a family of humble means. Through full academic merit scholarships, she graduated Magna Cum Laude in her pre-law class and ranked among the top of her law class at The College of Law, University of the Philippines. |
She also earned a Master of Law degree from The University of Michigan School of Law. She served as associate counsel in a large, prestigious Manila law firm before becoming the only female attorney in the twenty-five-lawyer legal department of one of Southeast Asia’s oldest global corporate conglomerates. She was on track to establish her own law firm when life threw the proverbial wrench at her well-laid plans: she met, fell in love with, and married an American, and moved to the US to build a life with him. The challenges of an immigrant having to start over in both personal and professional lives, plus motherhood sans her support network of Philippine family and friends amid her husband's frequent career-related travel, compelled her to choose to be the at-home parent. It was while raising their young children she rediscovered a childhood passion: creative writing. She wrote while doing laundry, cooking, and waiting for their children to get out of school, private lessons, sports, and other extracurricular activities, and after tucking them into bed. Now, she’s an award-winning author published in fiction, poetry, and nonfiction.
Her debut novel, THE THOMASITE, will be published and released by Orange Blossom Publishing in spring 2023. It’s a literary historical women’s fiction novel that evokes THE KING AND I meets WAR AND PEACE in US colonial Philippine Islands. She's also the author of the Driftless Unsolicited Award-winning novella, FAITH HEALER (Brain Mill Press, 2016). The first time she submitted to a nationwide short story writing contest, her story, “Portrait of the Other Lady,” won first place, including publication in a Los Angeles area newspaper (Ventura County Star, November 28, 2004). Her poems, some of which have been honored with distinction in poetry contests, are published by literary journals that include, among others, the Crosswinds Poetry Journal, New Millennium Writings, Reed Magazine, Lyrical Iowa, and Dicta (The University of Michigan School of Law literary journal). Her essay, “Gatekeepers and Gatecrashers in Contemporary American Poetry: Reflections of a Filipino Immigrant Poet in the United States,” appears in the anthology, OTHERS WILL ENTER THE GATES: IMMIGRANT POETS ON POETRY, INFLUENCES, AND WRITING IN AMERICA (Black Lawrence Press, 2015). She’s also the author of a new literary women’s fiction book manuscript, DAUGHTERS OF THE BAMBOO, a collection of Filipino American immigrant tales of love, dreams, struggles, and hope, and of THE ACCIDENTAL ITALIAN, a blended women’s fiction-romance genre novel manuscript. Among her works-in-progress are THE JAPANESE LIEUTENANT’S WOMAN, a novel set during the Pacific War in World War II, and MOTHER OF EXILES, a poetry manuscript anchored on the theme of the Filipino diaspora and immigrant experience. Follow her in VictoriaGSmith.com, Facebook at Author Victoria G. Smith, Instagram, and Twitter @AuthorVGSmith.
When Victoria isn’t writing, she likes to read or walk in the woods and on the beach with her husband, dogs, and their visiting children at their island home in the Puget Sound. Having imagined herself in her youth exclusively as a professional career woman working outside the home, she's surprised herself by being a happy homebody who, according to family and friends, is also a great, intuitive cook with a like talent and passion for home and garden design.
Her debut novel, THE THOMASITE, will be published and released by Orange Blossom Publishing in spring 2023. It’s a literary historical women’s fiction novel that evokes THE KING AND I meets WAR AND PEACE in US colonial Philippine Islands. She's also the author of the Driftless Unsolicited Award-winning novella, FAITH HEALER (Brain Mill Press, 2016). The first time she submitted to a nationwide short story writing contest, her story, “Portrait of the Other Lady,” won first place, including publication in a Los Angeles area newspaper (Ventura County Star, November 28, 2004). Her poems, some of which have been honored with distinction in poetry contests, are published by literary journals that include, among others, the Crosswinds Poetry Journal, New Millennium Writings, Reed Magazine, Lyrical Iowa, and Dicta (The University of Michigan School of Law literary journal). Her essay, “Gatekeepers and Gatecrashers in Contemporary American Poetry: Reflections of a Filipino Immigrant Poet in the United States,” appears in the anthology, OTHERS WILL ENTER THE GATES: IMMIGRANT POETS ON POETRY, INFLUENCES, AND WRITING IN AMERICA (Black Lawrence Press, 2015). She’s also the author of a new literary women’s fiction book manuscript, DAUGHTERS OF THE BAMBOO, a collection of Filipino American immigrant tales of love, dreams, struggles, and hope, and of THE ACCIDENTAL ITALIAN, a blended women’s fiction-romance genre novel manuscript. Among her works-in-progress are THE JAPANESE LIEUTENANT’S WOMAN, a novel set during the Pacific War in World War II, and MOTHER OF EXILES, a poetry manuscript anchored on the theme of the Filipino diaspora and immigrant experience. Follow her in VictoriaGSmith.com, Facebook at Author Victoria G. Smith, Instagram, and Twitter @AuthorVGSmith.
When Victoria isn’t writing, she likes to read or walk in the woods and on the beach with her husband, dogs, and their visiting children at their island home in the Puget Sound. Having imagined herself in her youth exclusively as a professional career woman working outside the home, she's surprised herself by being a happy homebody who, according to family and friends, is also a great, intuitive cook with a like talent and passion for home and garden design.
Interview with Victoria Grageda-Smith
Thank you Victoria G. Smith for taking the time to chat with me.
When did you know you wanted to become an author?
At ten years old! I had a love for history early on, and, additionally inspired by the Nancy Drew books, I started writing an adventure novel about a girl archeologist traveling to Egypt to investigate a mystery in the pyramids. Unfortunately, that manuscript (handwritten in an elementary school lined notebook) got lost during my family’s move to a new home. I wondered what that book could have been after I watched the movie, Lara Croft, many years later. Why, that was almost the same character I had attempted to create!
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
Are you kidding? I question it every day! For me, this is like the question, "When would you consider yourself having 'made it' as a writer?" I don't know the answer to this. What I do know is that writing is the only vocation that, for me, doesn't feel like work, that I'm so happy to be doing; when the hours seem to pass almost in the blink of an eye; when I'm happiest. So, I guess, that's what makes me a writer: I'm happiest when I'm writing.
Who is your biggest inspiration?
As an author, I’d say my biggest inspiration is the Philippine national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal--who wrote the two classic novels, Noli Me Tangere (Do Not Touch Me) and El Filibusterismo (The Filibuster). He was a polymath. Not only was he a doctor of optometry, he was also a painter, sculptor, and writer known for his novels, poetry, and patriotic essays and letters. I’d wanted to be like him since I was a child learning about him in elementary school.
How do you come up with your ideas?
I get my ideas from what I love: history, nature, other writers’ works, and my family’s experiences living and traveling around the world. Sometimes, I get them from the news.
Are your characters inspired by or based on real-life people?
Many of them are, although my characters are mostly amalgamations of people I’ve encountered, including various aspects of my personality or who I imagine I could be if I were living other lives.
What comes first, the plot or the characters?
For me, it's the character. A vision of a character comes to me--along along with her voice and backstory, and the plot, then, almost writes itself.
When I’m writing a new novel, I’m dreaming in its own dream world. I avoid reading or watching anything that takes me away from the voice in which that dream speaks to me. I listen to music most conducive to that voice. I also avoid reading novels that have too similar a topic or tone for fear of infecting my voice with theirs. I always strive to add unique value to what’s already out there--published. And there is hardly a greater contribution a writer could give to the literary world than the uniqueness of one’s voice.
When I’m writing a new novel, I’m dreaming in its own dream world. I avoid reading or watching anything that takes me away from the voice in which that dream speaks to me. I listen to music most conducive to that voice. I also avoid reading novels that have too similar a topic or tone for fear of infecting my voice with theirs. I always strive to add unique value to what’s already out there--published. And there is hardly a greater contribution a writer could give to the literary world than the uniqueness of one’s voice.
What would you say is your most interesting writing quirk?
When faced with a blank page, I write based on a rhythm that comes to me. Along with the rhythm comes the mood or “voice” of what seems desirous of being written. Then, I strive to provide the words that suit such rhythm and mood and the idea for a poem or story I aim to write. I suspect I’m a musician at heart; the trouble is--I never learned to read notes!
How did publishing your first book change your writing career?
It opened many doors for me in the literary and publishing world. I gained friends and networking opportunities with other writers. From the latter, I learned more about writing, which, in turn, improved mine. What I loved was getting invited to speak before readers and other writers. Writing is such a solitary activity, which I love, but I also love being with other people--at the right time and place, that is. I guess I’m a paradox: I’m an introvert who cherishes stretches of solitude. But I’m also a friendly, gregarious extrovert who enjoys a social setting. Thus, being a published writer satisfies both sides of me.
Have you ever gotten writers block? How did you work through it?
Yes. It happened to me many years ago when I was attempting to write the current WWII novel I’m working on again. The challenge came when I had to write a horrific scene of sexual assault committed against a set of women characters. I felt I did not have enough information and emotional bandwidth to write that scene in an authentic and respectful way for the victims. Thus, I took a break from writing that novel until I’d done more research and found the right tone with which to write the scene. After two decades, I think I can do it.
What are you working on now?
I’m working on a novel set during World War II in the Pacific. There are many books about WWII, but they’re mostly set in Europe, so I wanted to write a story that features some of the major events of the Pacific side of the war.
What advice would you give aspiring authors?
In addition to you being judged based on the quality of your work, publishing is a numbers game. The more you write, the more you can improve your writing, the more you can submit to publishers, and, therefore, the more you can publish. Thus, write every day. Soon, you’ll have a body of work ready for submission. Almost everything I wrote in the past twenty-five years has been published. But that was twenty-five years of continuous writing. It’s worth it. And I’m still at it just as passionately as I did the first time I wrote with the idea I was going to be a writer.
What do you like to do when you're not writing?
I like to travel and experience other cultures. When that’s not possible, I like to walk in the woods or along the beach--and, of course, read.
What are three things that are unique about you?
Firstly, I’d say I’m an intuitive cook with the uncanny ability to reverse-engineer many gourmet dishes I enjoy in restaurants and others’ homes--although I have not professionally studied to become a cook. Secondly, I have very sensitive senses of taste and smell--which could be a curse or a blessing, depending on the circumstances, as you can imagine. They have certainly been a blessing to me as a cook and as a writer describing a scene to allow the reader to experience the tastes and smells of the setting. My acute sense of smell sometimes makes me fantasize about being a perfumier--especially after I'd read that hauntingly shocking novel by Patrick Suskind, “Perfume: The Story of a Murderer.” Not that I dream of becoming a murderer, of course! Finally, and although I don’t think this is unique enough, I’d say I’m multitalented. My problem has always been deciding on which artistic talent I should focus on. In addition to being a writer, I think I could be a painter, sculptor, or photographer. I’ve always suspected I could be good at anything I put my heart and mind into doing. Yet, as an immigrant, I found this wasn’t how it worked. You don't decide to be one thing forever. Life happens, allowing you to apply yourself in other ways you’re good at to adapt to your changed circumstances. Thus, I was a lawyer in my native country, but when this proved to be an almost impossible career for me to pursue in the US, I realized I'd been given the gift of a second chance at trying my hand at something I've loved since childhood: creative writing.
Orange Blossom Publishing Books by
Victoria Grageda-Smith
Guest post by Marcus Herzberg
The Night Clerk's Wisdom
A Gentle Warning
“Kiss ‘em and hug for as long as you can.”
As I was chewing the fat with the night clerk at the community college where I taught, I mentioned that my wife and I were expecting our first child. Having children of his own, he’d shared some stories and the advice above.
“They grow up so fast,” he added wistfully.
I didn’t take the man to mean merely that we should rub cheeks with infants. I thought he meant that we should show our children affection in many ways during our limited time with them. In my twelve-plus years as a father, now with two sons, his words have floated back into my thoughts many times. With reflection and experience, I now see the night clerk’s gentle warning as sage advice about the importance of parental affection.
As I was chewing the fat with the night clerk at the community college where I taught, I mentioned that my wife and I were expecting our first child. Having children of his own, he’d shared some stories and the advice above.
“They grow up so fast,” he added wistfully.
I didn’t take the man to mean merely that we should rub cheeks with infants. I thought he meant that we should show our children affection in many ways during our limited time with them. In my twelve-plus years as a father, now with two sons, his words have floated back into my thoughts many times. With reflection and experience, I now see the night clerk’s gentle warning as sage advice about the importance of parental affection.
How Do We Show Affection?
Let me explain what I do and do not mean by affection. Showing affection to children
doesn’t mean babying them, or giving them everything they want, or treating them like they’re the center of the universe. We don’t show affection by making life easy for our children or fixing all of their problems for them. Having children do chores or clean up their own messes has nothing to do with affection and everything to do with responsibility. Similarly, making your kids get off their screens and play outside for a couple of hours is an act of caring, not cruelty.
The type of affection that I advocate is any way in which we genuinely convey our love for our children. This can take many forms. To use the night clerk’s examples, these include physical displays, which too often fall out of our interactions as our children age.
But there’s no reason that they have to disappear, and an impromptu hug, “just
because,” can carry a powerful message to an adolescent who feels increasingly alone, confused, or misunderstood.
Verbally conveying affection to children in both conventional and unconventional ways, is also important. Many parents make it a habit of telling their children they love them before they leave the house or go to bed. But using these same words instead of taking a harsh tone to address a child’s mistake can help convey connection and combat alienation. Similarly, telling them, “I’m worried about you,” to preface an uncomfortable conversation about a problem behavior can remind our children that our care and concern for them is our driving motivation.
We can also show affection less directly, for example by making the time to do
something with or for children that they really enjoy. Maybe that’s playing catch or
going fishing or making their favorite dinner or dessert. And sometimes, affection is
best conveyed by just listening when our children have something that they’re trying to say, regardless of how busy we are or how important it seems at the time.
doesn’t mean babying them, or giving them everything they want, or treating them like they’re the center of the universe. We don’t show affection by making life easy for our children or fixing all of their problems for them. Having children do chores or clean up their own messes has nothing to do with affection and everything to do with responsibility. Similarly, making your kids get off their screens and play outside for a couple of hours is an act of caring, not cruelty.
The type of affection that I advocate is any way in which we genuinely convey our love for our children. This can take many forms. To use the night clerk’s examples, these include physical displays, which too often fall out of our interactions as our children age.
But there’s no reason that they have to disappear, and an impromptu hug, “just
because,” can carry a powerful message to an adolescent who feels increasingly alone, confused, or misunderstood.
Verbally conveying affection to children in both conventional and unconventional ways, is also important. Many parents make it a habit of telling their children they love them before they leave the house or go to bed. But using these same words instead of taking a harsh tone to address a child’s mistake can help convey connection and combat alienation. Similarly, telling them, “I’m worried about you,” to preface an uncomfortable conversation about a problem behavior can remind our children that our care and concern for them is our driving motivation.
We can also show affection less directly, for example by making the time to do
something with or for children that they really enjoy. Maybe that’s playing catch or
going fishing or making their favorite dinner or dessert. And sometimes, affection is
best conveyed by just listening when our children have something that they’re trying to say, regardless of how busy we are or how important it seems at the time.
Losing that Loving Feeling
There are a variety of reasons that expressions of parental affection wane as children
age. In terms of physical and verbal expressions, some have the attitude that it’s not
“proper” once kids get past the “cute” stage. It’s as if some unwritten rules of etiquette suddenly kick in after they lose a couple of teeth, requiring fewer hugs and I-love-yous.
Now it’s certainly true that many children become less affectionate as they get older, but I think it’s a two-way street. And sometimes, I think the kids are just reflecting parental attitudes, including fear of emotional vulnerability.
Then there’s the fear that any display of physical affection to a child, from a parent or others, can be a slippery slope toward sexual abuse. If you doubt that this mindset
exists, it’s not hard to find internet forums, comment boards, etc. where everything from accepting an awkward kiss from a two-year-old niece or nephew to high school sex education is labelled as “grooming.” As a career educator, I understand the reality of child sexual abuse, but there is a broad line between familial affection and this sort of evil. Vigilance on this issue is helpful. Paranoia is not.
Yet another reason for the waning of parental affection is the belief we need to “toughen up” kids for life as an adult. Kids today are “soft,” so the thinking goes, and we don’t want to raise a generation of wimps.
A couple of observations are worth making here. First, in a prospering society, every
generation will have lives that are relatively easier than the previous ones. The house that my father grew up in had no indoor plumbing, and at one point during the Great Depression, his family’s usable income dwindled to a dime. I’m surrounded by smart appliances that I can monitor with my phone, from which I order a five-dollar latte that I pick up on my way into work. I imagine my ancestors who walked across deserts and toiled in coal mines hanging their heads in shame.
However, despite these changes in wealth and convenience, each generation has
challenges (e.g., recessions, wars, pandemics) that make life difficult. And despite
generational advantages, many people of all eras experience poverty, job loss, broken relationships, and the death of loved ones. In short, life is hard for many people at various times, but it’s difficult to see how parental affection would make any of this worse. What percentage of people who have overdosed on opioids in the past decade, or are currently in prison were shown too much love by their parents?
Secondly, kids are “soft” today for many of the same reasons that adults are soft: we
have technology and a demand economy that has intensified the emphasis on
immediate, ephemeral gratification. Most of us are required to do very little that makes us uncomfortable for very long. Moreover, we are herded by algorithms to seek out superficial digital interactions and virtual spaces that too often narrow our experiences and perspectives rather than challenge them.
However, this softness comes with a hard edge: we’re becoming more isolated and
disconnected, and so are our children. Couple that with the fact that social media
influencing, corporate marketing, and cyber-bullying have added to the challenges of adolescence that fray family bonds. Yet I’m still failing to see how more parental
affection would negatively impact this dynamic. Affection is not the enemy of strength, or resilience, or the critical thinking that will be required to deal with the problems of tomorrow.
age. In terms of physical and verbal expressions, some have the attitude that it’s not
“proper” once kids get past the “cute” stage. It’s as if some unwritten rules of etiquette suddenly kick in after they lose a couple of teeth, requiring fewer hugs and I-love-yous.
Now it’s certainly true that many children become less affectionate as they get older, but I think it’s a two-way street. And sometimes, I think the kids are just reflecting parental attitudes, including fear of emotional vulnerability.
Then there’s the fear that any display of physical affection to a child, from a parent or others, can be a slippery slope toward sexual abuse. If you doubt that this mindset
exists, it’s not hard to find internet forums, comment boards, etc. where everything from accepting an awkward kiss from a two-year-old niece or nephew to high school sex education is labelled as “grooming.” As a career educator, I understand the reality of child sexual abuse, but there is a broad line between familial affection and this sort of evil. Vigilance on this issue is helpful. Paranoia is not.
Yet another reason for the waning of parental affection is the belief we need to “toughen up” kids for life as an adult. Kids today are “soft,” so the thinking goes, and we don’t want to raise a generation of wimps.
A couple of observations are worth making here. First, in a prospering society, every
generation will have lives that are relatively easier than the previous ones. The house that my father grew up in had no indoor plumbing, and at one point during the Great Depression, his family’s usable income dwindled to a dime. I’m surrounded by smart appliances that I can monitor with my phone, from which I order a five-dollar latte that I pick up on my way into work. I imagine my ancestors who walked across deserts and toiled in coal mines hanging their heads in shame.
However, despite these changes in wealth and convenience, each generation has
challenges (e.g., recessions, wars, pandemics) that make life difficult. And despite
generational advantages, many people of all eras experience poverty, job loss, broken relationships, and the death of loved ones. In short, life is hard for many people at various times, but it’s difficult to see how parental affection would make any of this worse. What percentage of people who have overdosed on opioids in the past decade, or are currently in prison were shown too much love by their parents?
Secondly, kids are “soft” today for many of the same reasons that adults are soft: we
have technology and a demand economy that has intensified the emphasis on
immediate, ephemeral gratification. Most of us are required to do very little that makes us uncomfortable for very long. Moreover, we are herded by algorithms to seek out superficial digital interactions and virtual spaces that too often narrow our experiences and perspectives rather than challenge them.
However, this softness comes with a hard edge: we’re becoming more isolated and
disconnected, and so are our children. Couple that with the fact that social media
influencing, corporate marketing, and cyber-bullying have added to the challenges of adolescence that fray family bonds. Yet I’m still failing to see how more parental
affection would negatively impact this dynamic. Affection is not the enemy of strength, or resilience, or the critical thinking that will be required to deal with the problems of tomorrow.
Our Challenge
Despite the busyness of our daily lives and all of the accompanying distractions, we
need to continue to look for opportunities to show our children affection in genuine
ways. When my nine-year-old comes down the stairs with a cheery “good morning,” an un-caffeinated grunt from me is not an appropriate reply. When he interrupts my
grading to tell me a detailed story that I’m really not that interested in, I need to listen without looking impatient.
Continuing to show affection for our kids makes their lives better, and ours as well. My twelve-year-old routinely thanks his mother and I for making him dinner . . . unsolicited. The other day, when I picked him up from an outing with his friends, he hugged me . . . in front of them . . . in the middle of a busy store. You’d better believe I hugged him back. Just because they grow up fast, doesn’t mean you have to let go.
need to continue to look for opportunities to show our children affection in genuine
ways. When my nine-year-old comes down the stairs with a cheery “good morning,” an un-caffeinated grunt from me is not an appropriate reply. When he interrupts my
grading to tell me a detailed story that I’m really not that interested in, I need to listen without looking impatient.
Continuing to show affection for our kids makes their lives better, and ours as well. My twelve-year-old routinely thanks his mother and I for making him dinner . . . unsolicited. The other day, when I picked him up from an outing with his friends, he hugged me . . . in front of them . . . in the middle of a busy store. You’d better believe I hugged him back. Just because they grow up fast, doesn’t mean you have to let go.
 | Marcus has worked as an educator and teacher educator for three decades, all the while not-so-secretly aspiring to become a writer. His satirical novel, The Pop Tart Insurrection, was pubished in 2021, and its sequel, Jock Sniff America, was released in 2023. Marcus has also written several screenplays and his dramatic novel, Everything Counts, was a finalist in the Ohio Writers Association Great Novel contest. Marcus' books are available through his website, www.marcusherzberg.com. |
Bio: PJ McIlvaine is a prolific author/screenwriter/writer/journalist.
PJ is the author of the Amazon US best-selling VIOLET YORKE, GILDED GIRL: GHOSTS IN THE CLOSET (April 2022, Darkstroke Books), her debut middle-grade supernatural historical mystery adventure about a sassy poor little rich girl/Titanic survivor who sees ghosts in 1912 Manhattan.
PJ’s debut picture book LITTLE LENA AND THE BIG TABLE (May 2019, Big Belly Book Co.), with illustrations by Leila Nabih, is about a determined little girl tired of eating with her annoying cousins at the kid’s table, only to discover that the grown-up big table isn’t much better. Her second published picture book, DRAGON ROAR (October 2021, MacLaren-Cochrane Publishing), illustrations by Logan Rogers), is about a lonely, sick dragon who has lost his mighty roar and the brave village girl who helps him find it again. PJ is also under contract with Oghma Creative Media for a series of Creature Feature picture books (2023-2024).
PJ is also a co-host and founding member of #PBPitch, the premiere Twitter pitch party for picture book creators.
PJ has been published in numerous outlets including The New York Times and Newsday. PJ also does features and interviews for The Children’s Book Insider newsletter.
Also, PJ’s critically acclaimed Showtime original family movie MY HORRIBLE YEAR with Mimi Rogers, Karen Allen, and Eric Stoltz, was nominated for a Daytime Emmy.
PJ lives in Eastern Long Island with her family along with Luna, an extremely spoiled French Bulldog, and Sasha the Psycho Cat.
PJ is the author of the Amazon US best-selling VIOLET YORKE, GILDED GIRL: GHOSTS IN THE CLOSET (April 2022, Darkstroke Books), her debut middle-grade supernatural historical mystery adventure about a sassy poor little rich girl/Titanic survivor who sees ghosts in 1912 Manhattan.
PJ’s debut picture book LITTLE LENA AND THE BIG TABLE (May 2019, Big Belly Book Co.), with illustrations by Leila Nabih, is about a determined little girl tired of eating with her annoying cousins at the kid’s table, only to discover that the grown-up big table isn’t much better. Her second published picture book, DRAGON ROAR (October 2021, MacLaren-Cochrane Publishing), illustrations by Logan Rogers), is about a lonely, sick dragon who has lost his mighty roar and the brave village girl who helps him find it again. PJ is also under contract with Oghma Creative Media for a series of Creature Feature picture books (2023-2024).
PJ is also a co-host and founding member of #PBPitch, the premiere Twitter pitch party for picture book creators.
PJ has been published in numerous outlets including The New York Times and Newsday. PJ also does features and interviews for The Children’s Book Insider newsletter.
Also, PJ’s critically acclaimed Showtime original family movie MY HORRIBLE YEAR with Mimi Rogers, Karen Allen, and Eric Stoltz, was nominated for a Daytime Emmy.
PJ lives in Eastern Long Island with her family along with Luna, an extremely spoiled French Bulldog, and Sasha the Psycho Cat.
Interview with PJ McIlvaine
Thank you to author PJ McIlvaine for taking the time to chat with me.
It's a joy to get to know the Orange Blossom Publishing authors better!
It's a joy to get to know the Orange Blossom Publishing authors better!
When did you know you wanted to become an author?
I knew I'd like to be an author as a young kid.
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
I've never not been a writer, let's put it that way. It's in my genes.
Who is your biggest inspiration?
My maternal grandmother Charlotte Barbaret DeConchy.
How do you come up with your ideas?
I wish I knew. They come from everywhere and the past, present, and the future.
Are your characters inspired by or based on real-life people?
Yes
What comes first, the plot or the characters?
Both!
What would you say is your most interesting writing quirk?
I can be obsessive playing the same songs over and over as I write.
How did publishing your first book change your writing career?
It didn't. But it gave me the confidence to challenge myself and think bigger.
Have you ever gotten writers block? How did you work through it?
Do something else and let my subconscious do the heavy lifting.
What are you working on now?
A couple of novels and screenplays.
What advice would you give aspiring authors?
Patience. Persistence. Passion.
What do you like to do when you're not writing?
I like to bake.
What are three things that are unique about you?
I'm French. I'm passionate. And I love Nutella.
Orange Blossom Publishing Books by PJ McIlvaine
Guest post by Tricia Easter
Writing for Your Mental Health
It wasn’t until my 40’s that I started a consistent writing practice to support my mental health. Before I had always written in a journal off and on. My writing practice was the outlet I needed to heal debilitating anxiety and rebuild my self-trust, which I lost because of the anxiety.
I first started journaling daily to document my three-year intensive spiritual study of the different angels and archangels. While I had anticipated results from my spiritual studies, I was surprised about the impact my writing practice had on my anxiety. The cathartic nature of writing proved to be very healing for my mental health.
Benefits of Writing
Something as simple as putting pen to paper can be transformative. Writing has the ability to align our mind, body, and soul so that we know the direction we need to go. It helps to clear our mind wo that we can feel calm and comforted. Done consistently, writing can extinguish the flames that ignite anxiety. With the shame and stigma associated with mental health, writing is a safe outlet for us to express ourselves openly and honestly. Below are three ways writing is beneficial for our mental health.
Express and Process Emotions
Sometimes when we’re experiencing anxiety, all our feelings get lumped into feelings of anxiety, stress, and overwhelm, just to name a few. Writing can help us sift through our feelings so that we have clarity about exactly what we’re feeling, what caused that feeling, and if there’s anything we need to do differently in the future.
Gaining clarity about our emotions is a big step in uprooting anxiety. When we’re feeling frustrated or angry about something, writing in a journal is a healthy outlet, allowing us to hash everything out. Understanding exactly what we’re feeling helps to ease anxiety because we can then process these emotions.
Gaining clarity about our emotions is a big step in uprooting anxiety. When we’re feeling frustrated or angry about something, writing in a journal is a healthy outlet, allowing us to hash everything out. Understanding exactly what we’re feeling helps to ease anxiety because we can then process these emotions.
Find Our Voice
Writing helps us to connect with our true authentic self, who we are at our core. With busy and demanding schedules, it’s easy to lose touch with ourselves, and anxiety is a reminder that we need to reestablish that connection. I’ve noticed that many people who have anxiety (myself included) prefer to hide their true nature out of fear of judgement or persecution from others. And in hiding ourselves, we’re also not speaking up for ourselves. Many of us don’t really know what our own voice sounds like.
Writing allows us to find our voice as we start to ask ourselves questions and answer them honestly. How do we feel about certain situations and people? What do we believe about the world around us? What’s important to us? What are our boundaries? Writing creates space for us to hear and reclaim our voice and express it in a safe way. Expressing and processing our emotions plays a big part in helping us find our voice too.
Writing allows us to find our voice as we start to ask ourselves questions and answer them honestly. How do we feel about certain situations and people? What do we believe about the world around us? What’s important to us? What are our boundaries? Writing creates space for us to hear and reclaim our voice and express it in a safe way. Expressing and processing our emotions plays a big part in helping us find our voice too.
Creative Outlet
Whether you write in a journal or for a specific genre, writing gets your creative juices flowing. Being creative is very therapeutic. Creating helps us to build our confidence, which can take many hits when dealing with mental health issues. Being creative also teaches us to listen to and trust our intuition, which we’re tapping into as we write.
Writing and creating regularly also helps us to develop the capacity to think of new and different solutions to our problems. We’re better equipped to think “outside the box,” which helps when dealing with anxiety. Creativity helps us with self-expression too, because for many of us anxiety is a sign that our souls are
screaming to be seen and heard.
Writing and creating regularly also helps us to develop the capacity to think of new and different solutions to our problems. We’re better equipped to think “outside the box,” which helps when dealing with anxiety. Creativity helps us with self-expression too, because for many of us anxiety is a sign that our souls are
screaming to be seen and heard.
Start Your Writing Practice
I recommend a writing practice for everyone who has anxiety. Writing in a journal, writing a memoir sharing experiences, or doing some creative writing all support our mental health. Writing in whatever style lights us up sets healing in motion. The more we write, the more we shed light on our mental health which paves the way for deep healing. Below are three ways to start a writing practice.
Get Cozy
Feeling cozy helps to settle our frayed nervous system and ensures we keep showing up daily for our writing. We’re more likely to show up for our writing practice if we enjoy how we feel doing it. The cozier we feel writing, the more we will look forward to it. We should make sure we’re writing in a comfortable spot, whether it’s on the couch, at the park, or at our desk. Lighting a candle and pouring a cup of tea are some examples of things we can do to create a cozy setting. Establishing a comfortable writing environment signals to our nervous system that we’re safe, allowing us safely navigate anxiety and heal it.
Have Fun
Having fun is along the same lines as getting cozy, except we’re tapping into our inner child. As a young girl I LOVED picking out fun journals, cool pens, and cute folders. Thinking about what colors and patterns we enjoy allows us to have fun with our writing. If we like our writing tools, we’re more likely to show up and write every day. Just seeing my beautiful notebooks gets me excited about writing in them.
A Little Bit of Structure
I’m hesitant to recommend adding structure to something creative, however setting a daily routine to write helps us to show up consistently. Adding some structure helps to make daily writing a pattern. And writing gets easier the more we do it. It gets easier to tap into that flow where the words come easily. Committing to a general time every day ensures that we get our writing in. We can select a time that works for us, such as in the morning before our day begins or before bed. Also, setting an intention for how much we want to write is helpful. For example, aiming for a certain word count or writing a page a day in a journal. Even if it seems like we’re writing gibberish, knowing ahead of time how much we intend to write helps us to get in the habit of getting words on paper (or our computers).
The purpose of a writing practice is to build self-trust, to find and use our voice, and to ultimately heal anxiety. Using our writing as a tool helps us to safely lean into our anxiety and learn from it. Adopting a writing practice will help us understand anxiety and how it affects us. Writing is a tool that has the potential to free us from anxiety.
The purpose of a writing practice is to build self-trust, to find and use our voice, and to ultimately heal anxiety. Using our writing as a tool helps us to safely lean into our anxiety and learn from it. Adopting a writing practice will help us understand anxiety and how it affects us. Writing is a tool that has the potential to free us from anxiety.
 | Tricia Easter is the author of Bold Trust – 6 Steps to Unravel the Long-Term Effects of Gaslighting, Unapologetically Trust Yourself, and Heal Anxiety, which is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Tricia is a certified health and wellness coach and mental health advocate who’s passionate about helping others heal anxiety and destigmatizing mental health issues through open and honest conversations. She writes about her experiences healing anxiety and the truths she’s uncovered on her blog. Tricia also has certifications in nutrition, angel card reading, and as an angel guide. She has a bachelor’s degree in environmental science and a master’s degree in business administration. Visit angelsgoldhealing.com, Substack, or Instagram to subscribe to Tricia’s newsletter or to listen to her podcast Freedom from Anxiety. |
Bio:
Tamatha Cain is a former musician and bandleader. She graduated summa cum laude from the University of North Florida with a degree in English. Her work has appeared in national and international publications. Awards include: 2022 Florida Book Award, 2020 Royal Palm Literary Award, and grand prize in The Experience Poetry Competition. She writes reviews for Southern Literary Review, and is a member of Women's Fiction Writers Association, Women Writing the West, WFWA Historical Fiction Affinity Group, and Florida Writers Association. She is a wife and mother of three and lives in a hundred-year-old bungalow in North Florida, in close proximity to the historic locations found in her debut novel Song of the Chimney Sweep.
Learn more about her on her website or follow her on Twitter or Instagram.
Tamatha Cain is a former musician and bandleader. She graduated summa cum laude from the University of North Florida with a degree in English. Her work has appeared in national and international publications. Awards include: 2022 Florida Book Award, 2020 Royal Palm Literary Award, and grand prize in The Experience Poetry Competition. She writes reviews for Southern Literary Review, and is a member of Women's Fiction Writers Association, Women Writing the West, WFWA Historical Fiction Affinity Group, and Florida Writers Association. She is a wife and mother of three and lives in a hundred-year-old bungalow in North Florida, in close proximity to the historic locations found in her debut novel Song of the Chimney Sweep.
Learn more about her on her website or follow her on Twitter or Instagram.
Interview with Tamatha Cain
Thank you to author Tamatha Cain for taking the time to answer my questions.
It was a joy to get to know you better.
It was a joy to get to know you better.
When did you know you wanted to become an author?
It first occurred to me that I was a writer when several teachers encouraged my writing.
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
I can't remember not thinking of myself as a writer. I was other things as well, but always a writer.
Who is your biggest inspiration?
I love to research a wide variety of topics, and the stories behind them get my imagination going to all sorts of places.
How do you come up with your ideas?
I keep a note on my phone to jot down ideas. One thing in my writing life which never gives me trouble is coming up with ideas.
Are your characters inspired by or based on real-life people?
Very, very often they are inspired by real people. Sometimes it is only a mannerism or a particular part of their personality, but I collect interesting traits for future use.
What comes first, the plot or the characters?
The main character usually comes first, but not always. The idea for a book concept comes first, then I need characters to live it out.
What would you say is your most interesting writing quirk?
I cannot listen to music while writing. As a former musician, I find it way too distracting.
How did publishing your first book change your writing career?
It was great to have that book to show people, and when that first book won a Florida Book Award, it was an uplifting and encouraging experience.
Have you ever gotten writers block? How did you work through it?
Not really. I have more of a problem with procrastination and perfectionism. If the story is fully fleshed out, then the scenes tend to come rather easily. I have hit roadblocks when faced with edits as I still haven't found the most comfortable way for me to make changes without getting lost in the manuscript. I enjoy using Scrivener, but sometimes it's too easy to move files and suddenly the flow of the story is upset in ways I can't see. That is not fun.
What are you working on now?
I recently set aside an idea I've been researching for several years to work on a new idea I'm terribly excited about. It's in that phase where one is terrified someone else has already done it, but I'm going for it anyway.
What advice would you give to aspiring authors?
Try to tune out all the noise of the publishing world as much as you can, at least while you are writing. Social media makes it seems as though everyone is getting a book deal and it's easy to compare yourself and your progress. Focus on your work and making it the best it can be and then tune back in to the world of queries and pitch events.
What do you like to do when you're not writing?
My husband and I love to watch British mystery shows, lots of PBS Masterpiece Theatre lately. Also, we travel to watch our favorite baseball team. Trying to see them play in every stadium.
Tell me, what are three things that are unique about you?
My dad was in the Air Force, so I lived in four countries and seven different states before I turned 18. I live in a house that is over 100 years old. I used to be a bandleader, and I also used to own a custom cake shop.
Orange Blossom Publishing Books by Tamatha Cain
 |  |
Author
Arielle Haughee is the owner and founder of Orange Blossom Publishing.
Categories
All
For Parents
Getting Into Writing
Giveaways
How I Met My Other
Picture Books
Publishing
Revision
Writing Craft
Writing Goals And Routines
Writing Life
Writing Picture Books
RSS Feed