 Guest post by Iqra Mujeeb From Mom to Wordsmith: |
 | Iqra Mujeeb is an Author and Early Childhood Educator who received her certification from Gulf Montessori Center, Dubai. She currently lives in Karachi, Pakistan with her two beautiful daughters and published her first children's picture book in July 2023. She is always on the hunt for good restaurants, parks, and good books, and also has a passion for baking. Instagram: iqra.writer30 |
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by Arielle Haughee
The Seven Types of Narrative Conflict
Conflict is the backbone of storytelling. Without it, a story is a lukewarm word puddle. And you don’t just need some of it, you need a lot to have a compelling tale. So what is conflict and how do we pile it into our narratives? Conflict is the struggle between opposing forces. It can be internal or external, and it’s important to have both in your stories.
The key to increasing tension as your story progresses is to layer conflict. This means adding more and more struggles for your main character(s) as you build toward the climax where conflict peaks. The best type of conflict is in direct opposition to the character’s motivation. So if your main lead desires freedom, you build in multiple methods that stop them from being free.
There are seven different types of story conflict you can utilize in your story. I’ll use the cats pictured above as an example. Our dark haired hero, Catalie Portman, has been bullied by her nemesis, Cindy Clawford, for years. Catalie sweeps the floors in Vanity Fur, the premiere feline salon where Cindy is the most popular stylist. Catalie dreams of running her own salon one day where all cats will feel beautiful, no matter what they look like.
The key to increasing tension as your story progresses is to layer conflict. This means adding more and more struggles for your main character(s) as you build toward the climax where conflict peaks. The best type of conflict is in direct opposition to the character’s motivation. So if your main lead desires freedom, you build in multiple methods that stop them from being free.
There are seven different types of story conflict you can utilize in your story. I’ll use the cats pictured above as an example. Our dark haired hero, Catalie Portman, has been bullied by her nemesis, Cindy Clawford, for years. Catalie sweeps the floors in Vanity Fur, the premiere feline salon where Cindy is the most popular stylist. Catalie dreams of running her own salon one day where all cats will feel beautiful, no matter what they look like.
Conflict Type 1: Battling SELF (internal)
These are the internal struggles that prevent the character from achieving their goals. It could be past memories, bad habits, self-criticism, personal expectations, or fear and doubt. When I’m planning and revising novels, I always check each chapter to make sure there’s this internal conflict along with external conflict. In our feline example, Catalie is full of self-doubt from her overly critical mother who starred on the TV soap All My Kittens. She also had an unfortunate attempt at styling that turned out to be a disaster that still haunts her today.
Conflict Type 2: Battling OTHERS (external)
This is when the main character is confronted by the other characters in the story. It includes physical assaults as well as emotional attacks from jealous, competitive or critical characters. It could also come in the form of an argument with someone close to the lead. Catalie is attacked emotionally on a daily basis by Cindy Clawford, and she even gets whacked on the head when she accidentally knocks over Cindy’s hair dye. On top of that, the shop owner, a sinister tortoise named Voldetorte, blackmails her into spying on a rival salon. If she succeeds, she will have her dream of her own salon. If she fails, she will be out of the business forever.
Conflict Type 3: Battling SOCIETY (external)
Societies have a structure and history that can create conflict for a character. This may be who has power, a history of how certain groups have been treated, a rule system, or even expectations of how certain genders or kinds are supposed to behave. Catalie is a short-haired feline and is treated as less valued than the long-haired aristocats. She can’t afford the extensions Cindy uses to fit in, and there is no way she would be respected enough to have her own salon.
Conflict Type 4: Battling NATURE (external)
Nature has an immense variety of challenges to present: intense weather, rabid animals, diseases, pollution, and even time itself. Be sure whatever conflict you choose makes sense in the setting you’ve made or selected. It’s easy to get carried away and try to force something in that doesn’t fit. Since my story world revolves around cats, I would likely involve the greatest enemy: water. Heavy rains and possibly even a flood would be in store for our heroine.
Conflict Type 5: Battling MACHINE (external)
This will vary greatly depending on your setting. Some story worlds have more technology than others. A modern setting might have problems with computer viruses, AI, cell phones, cars, or malfunctioning equipment. If your story takes place during the Oregon Trail days, your character might have problems with wagon wheels, butter churns, yolks for the oxen and so forth. Catalie will have an incident with the chairs at the rival salon that will give away her position. Her camera will also malfunction at a key point.
Conflict Type 6: Battling SUPERNATURAL (external)
The supernatural may or may not have a place in your story. It can be quite fun when it does! This includes God or other deities, paranormal creatures, evil forces, ghosts, and mythical beings. Catalie has a fairy dogmother who in her attempts to help, ends up making things worse for her. The dream of her own salon is getting further and further away.
Conflict Type 7: Battling FATE (external)
The character may also have conflict with fate, which involves premonitions, predetermined paths, and genetic destinies. Before she was born, Catalie’s mother was told by a mystic that her child would bring shame to her name. She’s never let Catalie forget it. But at the climax of the story, we find out her long lost brother believed to be dead is still alive. Who will be the true shame? Find out in book two!
As you can see, there are many ways to add more conflict to your story and layer the issues as the narrative progresses. They key to having organic conflict is to put it in direct opposition to what the character wants as well as draw from the setting of the story. I did everything I could to stop Catalie from getting that salon she’s always wanted, but something tells me we’ll be seeing Pampurred Spa soon.
by Arielle Haughee
Book Brush:
Make Quick, Professional Book Ads
Making book ads can be a pain and take a lot of time. There are many programs out there that you can use to create ads, but one that is particularly easy to use and makes eye-catching ads is Book Brush. There are five tools in this program: Instant Ad Mockups, Custom Ad Creator, Video Creator, Box Set Creator, and Cover Creator. You can sign up for a free account and have access to some of the tools, but for full functionality, there is an annual fee. Let’s discuss what each tool does, then pricing for the program.
Instant Mockups
This is my favorite tool on Book Brush. The image at the top of this post is an instant mockup. They have ads of various sizes all ready to go and all you have to do is upload your book cover. You can choose a square size (good for Instagram), rectangle (Facebook), vertical (Pinterest), or 3D book cover. They also allow you to search for themes such as seasonal ads, ones for children, and certain kinds of backgrounds. With a free account, you have access to about twenty of these. With a paid one, there are hundreds. This feature makes it super easy to make great looking ads in minutes.
Custom Creator
With this tool, you can make your own ad with whatever background and text you want. So if you have something specific in mind, this might be a better choice than the pre-made option. First, you choose your ad size, then search a bank of images for your background. You can add text, your book cover, and even little stickers that say things like “available on Amazon.” I included an example below using their cover reveal book template. Great news: the custom creator is available on free accounts. Woohoo!
Video Creator
This feature is only available on certain plans/upgrades with the software. It allows you to make short video promos for your books, ones with your book cover and a moving background. These are great for getting people’s attention on social media. You choose your book cover and search in their bank of moving backgrounds for something that goes well with your books. Some examples are falling rain, floating clouds, hands typing, and flying over a city. When using the Custom Creator, you can add video as a background and then also have all the other Custom Creator features such as text or “available on Amazon.”
Box Set Creator
This is a handy tool if you have a series. You can have two all the way up to ten books in your box set image. Start by making your spines, then add them to the image in order. If you only have ebooks, there are templates you can use of book spines so you don’t have to start from scratch. This tool takes a little bit longer to master, but the end result is a gorgeous picture of your books. See the sample image below. This feature is only available with a paid membership.
Cover Creator
This is a new feature on Book Brush and only available on certain paid plans. Start by choosing ebook, print, or audio book. Next, select your trim size and page number as appropriate. You can either make a cover from scratch or use one of the pre-made templates. What is great about the templates is that you can select to browse by genre, making sure your cover fits in with reader expectations. Below is one of their ready-to-go cover templates. If you wish to custom create your own, you can search their image bank and add text, just like with the Custom Creator for ads.
Book Brush Pricing
As I noted earlier, you can sign up for a free account and get access to the Custom Creator and some of the Instant Mockups. It’s a great way to play around and see if you like the program. If you’d like to be able to use more features, you have to sign up for a paying plan. There are three plan levels: Plus for $99/year, Gold for $146/year, and Platinum for $246/year. These prices are all for one author. For full plan details, go to the Book Brush website and scroll down the main page until you see the three plans together.
Other Options Besides Book Brush
There are other tools you can use that do similar things to Book Brush. One of my favorite free tools is this 3D cover creator with lots of different options, more than Book Brush. I like how you can have several versions of the book in one image (print, kindle, phone). Probably my favorite tool to make graphics is Canva. Every FWA graphic I post online is made in Canva. It can do a lot more than Book Brush, but it is not focused on books. You can make custom ads or use their templates. They also have a brand kit to help you focus your brand imaging. You can get a free account and do much more with the free version of Canva than you can with Book Brush. I use both because I really love those Instant Mockups and I also like how I can drop a 3D book image in much faster in Book Brush.
Spend some time playing on Book Brush and watching their videos. You can decide if it is worth the investment or if the free options work out for you. If a program saves you time and makes life easier for you, it is often worth the money. Then you can spend more time doing what we do best…writing!
Spend some time playing on Book Brush and watching their videos. You can decide if it is worth the investment or if the free options work out for you. If a program saves you time and makes life easier for you, it is often worth the money. Then you can spend more time doing what we do best…writing!
by Arielle Haughee
Sell More with School Visits
It’s the time of year when things are gearing up for school, and the perfect time for you to start setting up school visits. School visits are a great way for you to connect with young readers, encourage them to write, and feel like a rockstar—the kids all think you’re famous! It can also be a great way to sell books, but you’ll need to plan ahead.
Connecting with Schools
It’s tough to start out with cold calls or emails; schools are not exactly welcoming to community members (aka strangers) these days. The best way to get into a school is to use your connections. Do you have children or grandchildren in school? Perhaps another family member or some neighbors? Have their parent reach out to the school for you or send in a sample of your book with a flyer or personalized note.
To Charge or Not to Charge
There is much debate in the kidlit community about whether to charge or not. One side argues that author time is valuable and schools have resources to help pay. The other side believes in the importance of influencing kids, regardless of payment. Both sides have valid points. I get the best of both by not charging a fee to come to the school, but making sure they set up a preorder for me.
Setting Up Preorders
Doing a preorder before your scheduled visit will help you be successful with sales. You can bring the ordered books with you, along with a few extra, and have them ready to go. Remember that parents won’t be there to buy books the day of the visit, so selling the day of isn’t feasible. Trying to sell books afterward doesn’t work out to well, either. I’ve learned that the hard way. The best way is to work with the school’s media specialist, who can coordinate orders across grades and then communicate them to you.
Getting Kids Excited
You can get the kids pumped up for your visit with two easy tricks. First, send a few attractive posters to the school for them to hang up in the halls or office. You can also mention the preorder on them (wink). Second, create a quick video introducing yourself, sharing a little about your book, and perhaps that lovely preorder. Show your enthusiasm and it will be infectious.
Age-Appropriate Presentations
Be sure to always ask which age group(s) you will be speaking to. Remember that kindergarteners can only sit for about twenty minutes before they get wiggly. If you create slides, have more pictures for grades K-1 and gradually increase the complexity of the content for older grades. Fourth and fifth graders do very well with discussing the writing process. Most of all, no matter the age group, make sure it is FUN!
If you come across as professional, knowledgeable, and fun, schools are very likely to ask you back next year. And if you get your preorder set up and send content for the school to share ahead of time, you’ll see the payoff from school visits, too. Once you visit a few schools, you can request the media specialist or your contact person if they would be willing to reach out to another school to let them know how great it was to have you. Then you can get started all over again!
If you come across as professional, knowledgeable, and fun, schools are very likely to ask you back next year. And if you get your preorder set up and send content for the school to share ahead of time, you’ll see the payoff from school visits, too. Once you visit a few schools, you can request the media specialist or your contact person if they would be willing to reach out to another school to let them know how great it was to have you. Then you can get started all over again!
 | Arielle Haughee (Hoy) is a five-time RPLA-winning author and the owner of Orange Blossom Publishing. She is an editor, speaker, writing coach, and the Executive Vice President for the Florida Writers Association. She is the author of The Complete Revision Workbook for Writers, Falling Into You, the children’s books Grumbler, Joyride, and Pling’s Party as well as the editor of the How I Met My Other anthology series and the creator of the Focus Journal line of journals. She was honored with the President’s Award from FWA in 2020. |
by Arielle Haughee
Picture Book Basics
Picture books are a magical way to turn children into book lovers at an early age. While they may appear to be easy to write, there are actually many facets to making a quality picture book. They contain all the elements of adult literature—character development, plot, theme—but delivered in a compact form. If you are interested in writing children’s picture books, here are a few basics to help you get started.
Word Count
Getting the proper word count is important for any genre, but especially for picture books. You need to keep the attention of the wiggly, easily-distracted audience for the entire story. This is also critical if you’re considering traditional publishing as the industry draws a hard line on this issue. So what is the magic number? 500 words. Less is even better for traditional publishing. If you’re going to take the indie route, you have more leeway and can go up to about 650.
Language
The most common mistake I see when editing manuscripts from first time picture book authors is language. Writers tend to draft their stories using adult style and structure but with animals or children as characters. The language in a picture book is structured specifically for children. This means shorter sentences and the conscious use of challenge words. Picture book text also needs to be designed to be read aloud. A good trick is to have someone unfamiliar with the story read it to you and listen to where they trip up. Those are places you’ll want to edit.
Rhyming
Well written rhyme flows naturally and is especially deceiving. It seems incredibly easy to write. This could not be more false. Writing in rhyme is an absolute nightmare I can personally attest to. Why? It’s not just about having the last two words of the sentences rhyme. There is a poetic meter with predictable beats that is necessary for rhyming structure. I recommend studying Lynley Dodd or Aaron Blabey and counting out their beats as an exercise in examining poetic meter and rhyme in picture books. But I have good news—you don’t have to write in rhyme to make a picture book! So if taking on this challenge seems daunting, stick to good ol’ prose.
Illustrators and Picture Notes
A common question is: How do you find an illustrator? Followed by: How do you tell them what to draw? First, if you are going the traditional route, the publisher chooses the illustrator for you. Second, no matter how you publish, illustrators greatly dislike—dare I say hate—picture notes. Think about it: Would you want to be told exactly how to write a story? I didn’t think so. Illustrators don’t like to be dictated to either. They prefer to read the text by itself and create their own vision for the story. This is where trust comes in. If you’re indie publishing, you need to find a talented, experienced illustrator, and they’ll create something better than you even imagined.
Writing picture books takes time to learn and plenty of practice. I recommend finding a critique group in your area that focuses solely on this genre. A big plus is there are often illustrators in these groups who can give you an insight into their side of the process. Spend the time learning picture book craft, and you’ll be giving children the gift of a passion for books that will likely last a lifetime.
| | Previously an elementary teacher, Arielle Haughee (Hoy) is a multi-genre author living in Florida. She has a serious reading addiction, fantasy romance her absolute favorite, and loves nothing more than good conversation paired with a good wine. She is surrounded by males at home—a husband, two sons, and an energetic dog—and tries to integrate as much purple and flowers in the house as possible. Arielle is an editor, speaker, and owner of a small press. Learn more about her at www.ariellehaughee.com or www.orangeblossombooks.com. She is also on Facebook and Instagram (@orange_blossom_books). |
Guest post by Bay Collyns
Mobile Libraries
I chuckled when I recently saw a mobile library as I was driving along the city highway. I reflected on my frequent visits to the mobile library that was in the nearby public park in my hometown. Every summer, my brother and I borrowed books and magazines for our leisure readings, that was forty years ago.
Today, mobile libraries vehicles are buses, vans, trucks, wagons and yes, there are ships that are libraires too. These diverse mobile libraries continue to bring books and magazines to adults and children around the world.
Especially to areas that do not have a library facility, or the brick-and-mortar libraries are in faraway locations. In addition to books, these libraries often carry videos, audiobooks, music, movies, and families can attend the story times for children.
When wi-fi hot spots are available, the library is a computer center on wheels that
may provide online services for obtaining references, educational
and ancestral research. For a fee, documents can be printed or forwarded to reach
its destination.
Whether near or far mobile libraries remain a welcomed way to read,
seek information and provide technical support to the population it serves. Yet, there is another option offered by the traditional walk-in libraries, books and other materials will be mailed directly to your residence. Therefore, inquire and seek information for the home delivery services.
Especially to areas that do not have a library facility, or the brick-and-mortar libraries are in faraway locations. In addition to books, these libraries often carry videos, audiobooks, music, movies, and families can attend the story times for children.
When wi-fi hot spots are available, the library is a computer center on wheels that
may provide online services for obtaining references, educational
and ancestral research. For a fee, documents can be printed or forwarded to reach
its destination.
Whether near or far mobile libraries remain a welcomed way to read,
seek information and provide technical support to the population it serves. Yet, there is another option offered by the traditional walk-in libraries, books and other materials will be mailed directly to your residence. Therefore, inquire and seek information for the home delivery services.
 | Bay Collyns and her husband live in Florida. She relishes her years of teaching children and parenting their two daughters. Her leisure times allows Bay to help children with disabilities improve the quality of their lives by riding horses in addition to her own riding. |
Arielle Haughee
The Online Marketing Trifecta:
Websites, Blogs, and Newsletters
You’re reading a blog post now. That means you either opened an email, clicked on a social media link, or found this on Google. Now how can you get readers to find you online, and even better, buy your books? The three must-haves for an author’s digital marketing plan include: a website, blog, and newsletter. Let’s take a look at all three and how they work together.
Your Author Website
This is your home base. Anyone can find you there, and it is always available. A Facebook or Amazon author page is not sufficient as your main website. Why? Because you are limited by their constraints as to what can be there, and more importantly, it is their site. They can choose when people see your content and can delete your page as they see fit. You need to have a place you control completely.
There are many web hosts that offer personal websites for free. You can check out Weebly, Wix, and Word Press to get started. These offer easy templates to use to make a website. Watch the tutorials and play around with different themes. Practice making pages, adding images, and inputting text. Don’t worry about your website being fancy when you first start. It’s more important that it’s there!
What should be on an author website? Your home page should show what genre(s) you write and have a picture of you. If you aren’t published, you can talk about what you enjoy writing and what you are currently working on. You should also have an “About” tab for more information about you, a “Contact” tab where people can reach you, and a tab for your blog. As your career as an author continues, you can have more tabs for your books, awards, services, and event calendar. Here is my author website as an example, as well as my favorite author Ilona Andrews. You may notice I don’t have my blog on my author website. That’s because it’s on my company website where I have my store. This is the site where I want to draw people in.
There are many web hosts that offer personal websites for free. You can check out Weebly, Wix, and Word Press to get started. These offer easy templates to use to make a website. Watch the tutorials and play around with different themes. Practice making pages, adding images, and inputting text. Don’t worry about your website being fancy when you first start. It’s more important that it’s there!
What should be on an author website? Your home page should show what genre(s) you write and have a picture of you. If you aren’t published, you can talk about what you enjoy writing and what you are currently working on. You should also have an “About” tab for more information about you, a “Contact” tab where people can reach you, and a tab for your blog. As your career as an author continues, you can have more tabs for your books, awards, services, and event calendar. Here is my author website as an example, as well as my favorite author Ilona Andrews. You may notice I don’t have my blog on my author website. That’s because it’s on my company website where I have my store. This is the site where I want to draw people in.
Your Blog
The blog on your website is the carrot that brings people to your site. The blog is the free content we offer showcasing our organization. You want to show off what you have to offer as an author.
Start by thinking about who your audience is. What type of content would they like to see? If you are writing fantasy, perhaps you can start a blog written from the perspective of a dragon character in your books. Some example posts include “A Dragon’s Guide to Covid-19 Facemasks,” “Dragon Dating Tips,” and “The Delicate Art of Roasting Marshmellows with your Breath.” The humor and unique angle will be a draw for people. The theme is also something you could write many posts about. When deciding on the theme for your blog, be sure to:
Marketing success!
Start by thinking about who your audience is. What type of content would they like to see? If you are writing fantasy, perhaps you can start a blog written from the perspective of a dragon character in your books. Some example posts include “A Dragon’s Guide to Covid-19 Facemasks,” “Dragon Dating Tips,” and “The Delicate Art of Roasting Marshmellows with your Breath.” The humor and unique angle will be a draw for people. The theme is also something you could write many posts about. When deciding on the theme for your blog, be sure to:
- consider your audience
- have a direct connection to the books you write
- select something unique and interesting for your readers
- have a theme you can write many, many posts about
Marketing success!
Your Newsletter
This is how you keep in touch with your readership. Services like Constant Contact and Mail Chimp make it easy to build an email list. They are also free for up to one thousand subscribers. Make sure that you are using a service and not doing a mass email from your personal account. Legally, people need a way to unsubscribe from your list, and a mass email from you does not give that option.
What types of things can you put in your newsletter? Blog posts make for easy email content. You can also share updates on your projects, book recommendations, giveaways, and your ultimate goal–ways to purchase your books. Be sure you are not always emailing “buy my book” content. People will ignore your emails or unsubscribe. Your emails need to provide value and give a reason for subscribers to open them.
There are two important statistics for email marketing: your open rate and your click rate. Your open rate is how many people are opening your email and reading it. A good open rate is around 25-30% of your subscribers. The click rate is how many people are clicking on links, such as an Amazon link to your book. A good click rate is 3-5%. As you can see, not everyone will be reading and interacting with your emails. That is completely normal.
What types of things can you put in your newsletter? Blog posts make for easy email content. You can also share updates on your projects, book recommendations, giveaways, and your ultimate goal–ways to purchase your books. Be sure you are not always emailing “buy my book” content. People will ignore your emails or unsubscribe. Your emails need to provide value and give a reason for subscribers to open them.
There are two important statistics for email marketing: your open rate and your click rate. Your open rate is how many people are opening your email and reading it. A good open rate is around 25-30% of your subscribers. The click rate is how many people are clicking on links, such as an Amazon link to your book. A good click rate is 3-5%. As you can see, not everyone will be reading and interacting with your emails. That is completely normal.
Websites, Blogs, and Newsletters Working as a Team
This may seem like a lot of work, but when all three of these are in place, you will attract and grow a steady audience. Make things easy for yourself by developing a workable schedule. How often can you blog? Once a week? Twice a month? Whatever you decide, just make sure it’s consistent. The same goes for your author newsletter. Whatever schedule you pick, stick to it. Consistency is the key to success with blogging and newsletters.
Utilize SEO strategies for your blog. This will attract new readers. Check out this post by FWA blogger Erik Deckers on how to optimize your blog posts for search engines. I have one blog post on picture book word count where I used these simple strategies, and it consistently brings in around 500 people a month from Google to my site. You can also reach readers by using hashtags when you share your blog posts on social media. Research popular hashtags for your genre and use them on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and any other social media you use.
Once you’ve brought people to your site through your blog posts, you want to keep in contact by having them sign up for your newsletter. Make sure you have a newsletter sign up on every page of your website and on your “Contact” page. Entice your readers by offering some type of freebie if they sign up, a first chapter, a short story, or something else of interest. If you clicked on one of my website links above, you may have noticed my pop up. Pop ups may have a bad reputation, but they work well. I have the settings set to only show my pop up to a person once a month so it isn’t annoying. You can get a pop up plug in for your site for free with Sumo.
There are many more tips and tricks with each of these elements, but hopefully this is enough information to get you started. Be patient with yourself as you learn and check out the Book Marketing posts on the FWA blog for more help. Once you get your trifecta in place, you’ll see the fruits of your labor as your audience grows and grows!
Utilize SEO strategies for your blog. This will attract new readers. Check out this post by FWA blogger Erik Deckers on how to optimize your blog posts for search engines. I have one blog post on picture book word count where I used these simple strategies, and it consistently brings in around 500 people a month from Google to my site. You can also reach readers by using hashtags when you share your blog posts on social media. Research popular hashtags for your genre and use them on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and any other social media you use.
Once you’ve brought people to your site through your blog posts, you want to keep in contact by having them sign up for your newsletter. Make sure you have a newsletter sign up on every page of your website and on your “Contact” page. Entice your readers by offering some type of freebie if they sign up, a first chapter, a short story, or something else of interest. If you clicked on one of my website links above, you may have noticed my pop up. Pop ups may have a bad reputation, but they work well. I have the settings set to only show my pop up to a person once a month so it isn’t annoying. You can get a pop up plug in for your site for free with Sumo.
There are many more tips and tricks with each of these elements, but hopefully this is enough information to get you started. Be patient with yourself as you learn and check out the Book Marketing posts on the FWA blog for more help. Once you get your trifecta in place, you’ll see the fruits of your labor as your audience grows and grows!
Guest post by Erik Peters
What My Father Found
My father worked what can charitably be called a thankless job.
For forty years he delivered cookies to grocery and convenience stores, often working late or on Saturdays to make sure the shelves were stocked.
Every display he built was mangled by the careless hands of customers.
Every delivery completed had to be remade a week or two later.
Every box carefully stacked in his storage unit had to be unstacked.
Every sale injected sugar into the already glutted North American market.
But despite sore backs and no sick days, despite vehicle maintenance and head office
'campaigns,' despite difficult floor managers and traffic to make your teeth curl, my father never shirked.
He never complained about working for our daily bread. He never cut corners or blamed others for the hardness of his job.
I am part of a generation that could learn from my father: a generation that must find what he found.
For forty years he delivered cookies to grocery and convenience stores, often working late or on Saturdays to make sure the shelves were stocked.
Every display he built was mangled by the careless hands of customers.
Every delivery completed had to be remade a week or two later.
Every box carefully stacked in his storage unit had to be unstacked.
Every sale injected sugar into the already glutted North American market.
But despite sore backs and no sick days, despite vehicle maintenance and head office
'campaigns,' despite difficult floor managers and traffic to make your teeth curl, my father never shirked.
He never complained about working for our daily bread. He never cut corners or blamed others for the hardness of his job.
I am part of a generation that could learn from my father: a generation that must find what he found.
Hope and Love
My father found hope and love.
Not the hope of fame and riches or of changing the world. Not the garish love in jewelry and vacation advertisements.
Not the salacious love of music videos and films.
He clung to the hope of a family: the hope that is love.
Deep love.
Love that demands heavy tolls but makes them light to the bearer. Love that sacrifices without compulsion. Love that gives its first fruits, not its surplus. Love that looks forward, not to extravagance, but to old age, surrounded by family and peace which passes all understanding.
He looked forward to a love that asks nothing more than the hope of seeing the next
generation renew that same love, and therein realizes a joy no suffering can touch.
I am part of a generation, a world, that must find what my father found.
Not the hope of fame and riches or of changing the world. Not the garish love in jewelry and vacation advertisements.
Not the salacious love of music videos and films.
He clung to the hope of a family: the hope that is love.
Deep love.
Love that demands heavy tolls but makes them light to the bearer. Love that sacrifices without compulsion. Love that gives its first fruits, not its surplus. Love that looks forward, not to extravagance, but to old age, surrounded by family and peace which passes all understanding.
He looked forward to a love that asks nothing more than the hope of seeing the next
generation renew that same love, and therein realizes a joy no suffering can touch.
I am part of a generation, a world, that must find what my father found.
 | Erik Peters is a teacher and avid mediaevalist from Canada. Erik's work with marginalized students has profoundly influenced his writing which has been published in numerous magazines including Coffin Bell, Superlative Lit, Prospectus, The Louisville Review, and The Dead Mule School. Read all Erik's publications at www.erikpeters.ca or @erikpeterswrites. |
Guest post by Ree Augustine
Writing Without Ink
by Ree Augustine
I thought I became a writer,
When I was forty,
Sitting at my kitchen table one morning,
With a pen in my hand.
But over the years,
A memory has never left me.
It happened on an ordinary day,
As I was walking home from a friend’s house.
I was fourteen.
It was dark.
I was alone.
I stopped at the end of a dead-end street. Ahead of me was a field that stretched forever, blending into the bottom of the sky. Broken pieces of corn husks shot up from its dirt. A slight breeze blew translucent clouds over a full moon.
It was so quiet,
It seemed I was the only person in the world.
The air around me,
Hugged me.
My body turned silent.
Standing right there,
Wonder filled me.
What was out there in that long-legged field?
How far did that sky reach?
What would happen if I just stepped onto that field,
Turned my back on what I knew,
And followed the field wherever it went?
It was on that day,
I became a writer.
A writer,
Without a pen.
What does writing without a pen look like?
It looks like a story,
That has not been told.
When a baseball pitcher prepares to throw a ball,
He wonders.
Will the ball make it over the plate?
Will there be a hit?
Will he strike the batter out?
When a worker plans their vacation,
They wonder.
Will there be hills to climb?
Will the countryside be green?
Will who they meet be friendly?
When an artist stands in a meadow,
They wonder.
Will the tall grasses make a good painting?
Will there be enough colors?
Will the painting hang in someone’s home?
When a student raises their hand in class,
They wonder.
Will I be the only one to speak?
Will my words come out right?
Will I shine?
When a girl likes a boy,
She wonders.
Will the boy think she is pretty?
Will he like her?
Will they hold hands?
And just as there is realistic fiction,
In one’s own personal story,
There is fantastic fiction,
In one’s wide imagination.
Imagining as you drive down a wooded road,
There are fairies hiding in the trees.
Imagining the foxes beyond your house,
Are having conversations.
Imagining the town next to yours,
Is housing for ghosts.
While people may never voice these thoughts,
They are there,
In everyone’s minds.
It is these thoughts,
That connect us.
That make us the same.
We are all wonderers,
We are all writers,
Just some without ink.
When I was forty,
Sitting at my kitchen table one morning,
With a pen in my hand.
But over the years,
A memory has never left me.
It happened on an ordinary day,
As I was walking home from a friend’s house.
I was fourteen.
It was dark.
I was alone.
I stopped at the end of a dead-end street. Ahead of me was a field that stretched forever, blending into the bottom of the sky. Broken pieces of corn husks shot up from its dirt. A slight breeze blew translucent clouds over a full moon.
It was so quiet,
It seemed I was the only person in the world.
The air around me,
Hugged me.
My body turned silent.
Standing right there,
Wonder filled me.
What was out there in that long-legged field?
How far did that sky reach?
What would happen if I just stepped onto that field,
Turned my back on what I knew,
And followed the field wherever it went?
It was on that day,
I became a writer.
A writer,
Without a pen.
What does writing without a pen look like?
It looks like a story,
That has not been told.
When a baseball pitcher prepares to throw a ball,
He wonders.
Will the ball make it over the plate?
Will there be a hit?
Will he strike the batter out?
When a worker plans their vacation,
They wonder.
Will there be hills to climb?
Will the countryside be green?
Will who they meet be friendly?
When an artist stands in a meadow,
They wonder.
Will the tall grasses make a good painting?
Will there be enough colors?
Will the painting hang in someone’s home?
When a student raises their hand in class,
They wonder.
Will I be the only one to speak?
Will my words come out right?
Will I shine?
When a girl likes a boy,
She wonders.
Will the boy think she is pretty?
Will he like her?
Will they hold hands?
And just as there is realistic fiction,
In one’s own personal story,
There is fantastic fiction,
In one’s wide imagination.
Imagining as you drive down a wooded road,
There are fairies hiding in the trees.
Imagining the foxes beyond your house,
Are having conversations.
Imagining the town next to yours,
Is housing for ghosts.
While people may never voice these thoughts,
They are there,
In everyone’s minds.
It is these thoughts,
That connect us.
That make us the same.
We are all wonderers,
We are all writers,
Just some without ink.
 | Some of Ree's earliest memories are with a book in her hand, and today, she still loves to read stories of all kinds, from children’s poetry to adult suspense novels. Before her love of reading turned into a love of writing, she took many turns in her life, some of which were an accountant, a retail clerk, and a volunteer worker for abused women. When she and her husband started their family, she became a stay-at-home mom to two boys. It was then, in a few solitary moments, she put a pencil in her hand and discovered a love of writing. Now, she spends her mornings in Eastern PA creating stories of her own with her writing partner by her side, a sleepy greyhound. Quiet things inspire her: a word, a child’s desire, a tug in her heart. Afternoons and evenings are for family, friends, and lots of daydreaming. |
Pairing Down Paragraphs:
Seven Tips for Paragraph-Level Revision
You’ve reread that first draft and are confronted with the reality that most writers have at this point: your paragraphs are bulky. What can you do to shape up your work? Here are seven tips to help you trim down at the paragraph level:
1. Essential Information
When drafting, there is a tendency to overwrite. You are thinking through your story and figuring things out, often including extras you don’t need in the final story. How can you tell if something is extra or not? Ask yourself:
- Does it move the plot forward?
- Does it reveal character?
- Is it necessary for the setting?
- Is it integral to the theme?
2. Vary Sentence Structure
Another way to clean up your paragraphs is to take a look at the types of sentences you have. Variety keeps the reader interested. If you have a paragraph full of long sentences, figure out how you can trim some of those down. Short sentences are also a way to get reader attention. They work.
Draft Version
Jumping through the tangled twist of vines, he found himself sinking quickly in a huge pool of quicksand. He kicked his legs and yelled for help while searching his surroundings for anything that could help him get out. As he reached for a nearby branch, the leaves parted and a jaguar growled loudly and sunk down, ready to leap forward. (word count 60)
Revised version
He leapt through the tangled vines and landed on soft ground. Too soft. He sank down to his knees. Before the quicksand swallowed him entirely, he grabbed a nearby branch. A vicious growl shook the trees. The leaves parted. A jaguar slunk down on his haunches. (word count 46)
Draft Version
Jumping through the tangled twist of vines, he found himself sinking quickly in a huge pool of quicksand. He kicked his legs and yelled for help while searching his surroundings for anything that could help him get out. As he reached for a nearby branch, the leaves parted and a jaguar growled loudly and sunk down, ready to leap forward. (word count 60)
Revised version
He leapt through the tangled vines and landed on soft ground. Too soft. He sank down to his knees. Before the quicksand swallowed him entirely, he grabbed a nearby branch. A vicious growl shook the trees. The leaves parted. A jaguar slunk down on his haunches. (word count 46)
3. Summary Sentences
One key thing to remember is the reader can infer. You don’t always need to be direct. Summary sentences are those that sum up what was just shown to the reader. The writer really wants to make sure the reader gets it, not realizing they already do.
Maddux bolted across the room and shoved his head under my feet. With each crash of thunder he jumped. Tiny, desperate whimpers streamed from his mouth. It was storming and he was scared.
The last sentence is unnecessary because it was already shown and the reader knows.
Maddux bolted across the room and shoved his head under my feet. With each crash of thunder he jumped. Tiny, desperate whimpers streamed from his mouth. It was storming and he was scared.
The last sentence is unnecessary because it was already shown and the reader knows.
4. Trimming Visual Description
More isn’t always better. This is often the case with visual description. A few telling details show much more than a full paragraph of general information. Hone your description down to what is interesting and what matters. Readers will build their own visuals and don’t need as much hand-feeding as you may think.
General Description
Shelves filled with books covered three of the walls. An old picture hung on the other. Morning sun filtered through a floor-to-ceiling window behind a massive oak desk. An antique globe stood in one corner and a grandfather clock in the other. A red and cream oriental rug took up most of the floor. (word count 54)
This is a general office setting — so general it could by anyone’s office. Cutting it down and focusing on details essential to the character gives a much better insight.
This is a general office setting — so general it could by anyone’s office. Cutting it down and focusing on details essential to the character gives a much better insight.
Telling details description
A massive oak desk occupied the room, the wood worn down in places from many elbows over many decades. The only picture hanging behind it, a framed portrait of his father. Books filled the shelves, all coated with a layer of dust except one —The Little Prince. (word count 46)
5. Past Perfect "Had"
One bad habit that clutters paragraphs is to overuse the word “had” when writing a flashback or previous event in the past tense — the past tense in the past tense. For example:
Minerva slammed on the breaks. The pedestrian tapped his phone, completely unaware. They were both lucky this time. Last winter she had lost control of her Honda Odyssey and had swerved through an intersection. She had skidded onto the sidewalk and…
That’s a lot of “had.” When writing the past perfect, you usually only need to include the first had. The rest are implied. The reader knows it’s a flashback.
…They were both lucky this time. Last winter she had lost control of her Honda Odyssey and swerved through an intersection. She skidded onto the sidewalk and…
Minerva slammed on the breaks. The pedestrian tapped his phone, completely unaware. They were both lucky this time. Last winter she had lost control of her Honda Odyssey and had swerved through an intersection. She had skidded onto the sidewalk and…
That’s a lot of “had.” When writing the past perfect, you usually only need to include the first had. The rest are implied. The reader knows it’s a flashback.
…They were both lucky this time. Last winter she had lost control of her Honda Odyssey and swerved through an intersection. She skidded onto the sidewalk and…
6. Tightening Dialogue
Dialogue should be crisp, every word examined carefully to ensure there is no fluff. It must move the plot forward or reveal character. If it doesn’t, cut it. Here are some places to trim back:
- Greetings and routines: Skip the Good morning and How are you as well as other routine parts of conversation. They aren’t interesting and aren’t needed to move the plot forward.
- Something the character already knows: If the character in your scene knows the date or what happened at the movies or whatever else, don’t put it in the dialogue just for it to be repeated to the reader. It makes the conversation inorganic.
- Reconveying an event: Likewise, if one character needs to sum up an event to bring another character up to speed, you don’t need to state everything that happened in the dialogue. Put in a narrative line like Sam told her what happened at the movies instead.
- Speaker tags: This is another area to remember the reader can infer. You don’t need a speaker tag with every line, especially if there is a character action after a line of dialogue. (“I don’t care what your mother thinks.” Sam slammed the book on the table.) Study the speaker tags in some of your favorite recently published books to get an idea of when they are used and how often.
7. Cartoonish Characters
This is what happens when too many character reactions are in a scene. He/She becomes a silly, exaggerated version of themselves, especially when those reactions are extreme. For example:
Mariella slammed her fists on her hips. “You told me you would be home six hours ago,” she yelled.
“I tried to call,” Tom said.
Mariella tapped her foot. “I didn’t have any missed calls,” she huffed.
“Maybe your phone isn’t working.”
Mariella clenched her teeth and stomped over to him. “You’re lying!” she screamed. Her heart hammered in her chest and her cheeks were red with rage.
Let’s be honest. Mariella is pretty annoying here. Cut back the character reactions to make her more realistic.
Mariella slammed her fists on her hips. “You told me you would be home six hours ago,” she yelled.
“I tried to call,” Tom said.
Mariella tapped her foot. “I didn’t have any missed calls,” she huffed.
“Maybe your phone isn’t working.”
Mariella clenched her teeth and stomped over to him. “You’re lying!” she screamed. Her heart hammered in her chest and her cheeks were red with rage.
Let’s be honest. Mariella is pretty annoying here. Cut back the character reactions to make her more realistic.
Hopefully these tips help you pare down your paragraphs and focus on content that really propels your story forward. These are all suggestions and not hard and fast rules of what not to write. You are the master of your story…now master it!
| | Previously an elementary teacher, Arielle Haughee (Hoy) is a five-time RPLA-winning author and the owner of Orange Blossom Publishing. She is an editor, speaker, and coach. She is the author of The Complete Revision Workbook for Writers, the children’s books Grumbler, Joyride, Pling’s Party, and Sixth Sunday, the editor of the How I Met My Other anthology series, and the creator of the Focus Journal line of journals. She was also honored with the President’s Award from the Florida Writers Association in 2020. She has a serious reading addiction, fantasy romance her absolute favorite, and loves nothing more than good conversation paired with a good wine. She is surrounded by males at home—a husband, two sons, and an energetic dog—and tries to integrate as much purple and flowers in the house as possible. |
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Arielle Haughee is the owner and founder of Orange Blossom Publishing.
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