 by Arielle Haughee Sell More with School VisitsIt’s the time of year when things are gearing up for school, and the perfect time for you to start setting up school visits. School visits are a great way for you to connect with young readers, encourage them to write, and feel like a rockstar—the kids all think you’re famous! It can also be a great way to sell books, but you’ll need to plan ahead. Connecting with SchoolsIt’s tough to start out with cold calls or emails; schools are not exactly welcoming to community members (aka strangers) these days. The best way to get into a school is to use your connections. Do you have children or grandchildren in school? Perhaps another family member or some neighbors? Have their parent reach out to the school for you or send in a sample of your book with a flyer or personalized note. To Charge or Not to ChargeThere is much debate in the kidlit community about whether to charge or not. One side argues that author time is valuable and schools have resources to help pay. The other side believes in the importance of influencing kids, regardless of payment. Both sides have valid points. I get the best of both by not charging a fee to come to the school, but making sure they set up a preorder for me. Setting Up PreordersDoing a preorder before your scheduled visit will help you be successful with sales. You can bring the ordered books with you, along with a few extra, and have them ready to go. Remember that parents won’t be there to buy books the day of the visit, so selling the day of isn’t feasible. Trying to sell books afterward doesn’t work out to well, either. I’ve learned that the hard way. The best way is to work with the school’s media specialist, who can coordinate orders across grades and then communicate them to you. Getting Kids ExcitedYou can get the kids pumped up for your visit with two easy tricks. First, send a few attractive posters to the school for them to hang up in the halls or office. You can also mention the preorder on them (wink). Second, create a quick video introducing yourself, sharing a little about your book, and perhaps that lovely preorder. Show your enthusiasm and it will be infectious. Age-Appropriate PresentationsBe sure to always ask which age group(s) you will be speaking to. Remember that kindergarteners can only sit for about twenty minutes before they get wiggly. If you create slides, have more pictures for grades K-1 and gradually increase the complexity of the content for older grades. Fourth and fifth graders do very well with discussing the writing process. Most of all, no matter the age group, make sure it is FUN! If you come across as professional, knowledgeable, and fun, schools are very likely to ask you back next year. And if you get your preorder set up and send content for the school to share ahead of time, you’ll see the payoff from school visits, too. Once you visit a few schools, you can request the media specialist or your contact person if they would be willing to reach out to another school to let them know how great it was to have you. Then you can get started all over again!
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 by Arielle Haughee Picture Book BasicsPicture books are a magical way to turn children into book lovers at an early age. While they may appear to be easy to write, there are actually many facets to making a quality picture book. They contain all the elements of adult literature—character development, plot, theme—but delivered in a compact form. If you are interested in writing children’s picture books, here are a few basics to help you get started. Word CountGetting the proper word count is important for any genre, but especially for picture books. You need to keep the attention of the wiggly, easily-distracted audience for the entire story. This is also critical if you’re considering traditional publishing as the industry draws a hard line on this issue. So what is the magic number? 500 words. Less is even better for traditional publishing. If you’re going to take the indie route, you have more leeway and can go up to about 650. LanguageThe most common mistake I see when editing manuscripts from first time picture book authors is language. Writers tend to draft their stories using adult style and structure but with animals or children as characters. The language in a picture book is structured specifically for children. This means shorter sentences and the conscious use of challenge words. Picture book text also needs to be designed to be read aloud. A good trick is to have someone unfamiliar with the story read it to you and listen to where they trip up. Those are places you’ll want to edit. RhymingWell written rhyme flows naturally and is especially deceiving. It seems incredibly easy to write. This could not be more false. Writing in rhyme is an absolute nightmare I can personally attest to. Why? It’s not just about having the last two words of the sentences rhyme. There is a poetic meter with predictable beats that is necessary for rhyming structure. I recommend studying Lynley Dodd or Aaron Blabey and counting out their beats as an exercise in examining poetic meter and rhyme in picture books. But I have good news—you don’t have to write in rhyme to make a picture book! So if taking on this challenge seems daunting, stick to good ol’ prose. Illustrators and Picture NotesA common question is: How do you find an illustrator? Followed by: How do you tell them what to draw? First, if you are going the traditional route, the publisher chooses the illustrator for you. Second, no matter how you publish, illustrators greatly dislike—dare I say hate—picture notes. Think about it: Would you want to be told exactly how to write a story? I didn’t think so. Illustrators don’t like to be dictated to either. They prefer to read the text by itself and create their own vision for the story. This is where trust comes in. If you’re indie publishing, you need to find a talented, experienced illustrator, and they’ll create something better than you even imagined. Writing picture books takes time to learn and plenty of practice. I recommend finding a critique group in your area that focuses solely on this genre. A big plus is there are often illustrators in these groups who can give you an insight into their side of the process. Spend the time learning picture book craft, and you’ll be giving children the gift of a passion for books that will likely last a lifetime.
 Guest post by Bay Collyns Mobile LibrariesI chuckled when I recently saw a mobile library as I was driving along the city highway. I reflected on my frequent visits to the mobile library that was in the nearby public park in my hometown. Every summer, my brother and I borrowed books and magazines for our leisure readings, that was forty years ago. Today, mobile libraries vehicles are buses, vans, trucks, wagons and yes, there are ships that are libraires too. These diverse mobile libraries continue to bring books and magazines to adults and children around the world. Especially to areas that do not have a library facility, or the brick-and-mortar libraries are in faraway locations. In addition to books, these libraries often carry videos, audiobooks, music, movies, and families can attend the story times for children. When wi-fi hot spots are available, the library is a computer center on wheels that may provide online services for obtaining references, educational and ancestral research. For a fee, documents can be printed or forwarded to reach its destination. Whether near or far mobile libraries remain a welcomed way to read, seek information and provide technical support to the population it serves. Yet, there is another option offered by the traditional walk-in libraries, books and other materials will be mailed directly to your residence. Therefore, inquire and seek information for the home delivery services.
 Arielle Haughee The Online Marketing Trifecta: |
 | Erik Peters is a teacher and avid mediaevalist from Canada. Erik's work with marginalized students has profoundly influenced his writing which has been published in numerous magazines including Coffin Bell, Superlative Lit, Prospectus, The Louisville Review, and The Dead Mule School. Read all Erik's publications at www.erikpeters.ca or @erikpeterswrites. |
Guest post by Ree Augustine
Writing Without Ink
by Ree Augustine
I thought I became a writer,
When I was forty,
Sitting at my kitchen table one morning,
With a pen in my hand.
But over the years,
A memory has never left me.
It happened on an ordinary day,
As I was walking home from a friend’s house.
I was fourteen.
It was dark.
I was alone.
I stopped at the end of a dead-end street. Ahead of me was a field that stretched forever, blending into the bottom of the sky. Broken pieces of corn husks shot up from its dirt. A slight breeze blew translucent clouds over a full moon.
It was so quiet,
It seemed I was the only person in the world.
The air around me,
Hugged me.
My body turned silent.
Standing right there,
Wonder filled me.
What was out there in that long-legged field?
How far did that sky reach?
What would happen if I just stepped onto that field,
Turned my back on what I knew,
And followed the field wherever it went?
It was on that day,
I became a writer.
A writer,
Without a pen.
What does writing without a pen look like?
It looks like a story,
That has not been told.
When a baseball pitcher prepares to throw a ball,
He wonders.
Will the ball make it over the plate?
Will there be a hit?
Will he strike the batter out?
When a worker plans their vacation,
They wonder.
Will there be hills to climb?
Will the countryside be green?
Will who they meet be friendly?
When an artist stands in a meadow,
They wonder.
Will the tall grasses make a good painting?
Will there be enough colors?
Will the painting hang in someone’s home?
When a student raises their hand in class,
They wonder.
Will I be the only one to speak?
Will my words come out right?
Will I shine?
When a girl likes a boy,
She wonders.
Will the boy think she is pretty?
Will he like her?
Will they hold hands?
And just as there is realistic fiction,
In one’s own personal story,
There is fantastic fiction,
In one’s wide imagination.
Imagining as you drive down a wooded road,
There are fairies hiding in the trees.
Imagining the foxes beyond your house,
Are having conversations.
Imagining the town next to yours,
Is housing for ghosts.
While people may never voice these thoughts,
They are there,
In everyone’s minds.
It is these thoughts,
That connect us.
That make us the same.
We are all wonderers,
We are all writers,
Just some without ink.
When I was forty,
Sitting at my kitchen table one morning,
With a pen in my hand.
But over the years,
A memory has never left me.
It happened on an ordinary day,
As I was walking home from a friend’s house.
I was fourteen.
It was dark.
I was alone.
I stopped at the end of a dead-end street. Ahead of me was a field that stretched forever, blending into the bottom of the sky. Broken pieces of corn husks shot up from its dirt. A slight breeze blew translucent clouds over a full moon.
It was so quiet,
It seemed I was the only person in the world.
The air around me,
Hugged me.
My body turned silent.
Standing right there,
Wonder filled me.
What was out there in that long-legged field?
How far did that sky reach?
What would happen if I just stepped onto that field,
Turned my back on what I knew,
And followed the field wherever it went?
It was on that day,
I became a writer.
A writer,
Without a pen.
What does writing without a pen look like?
It looks like a story,
That has not been told.
When a baseball pitcher prepares to throw a ball,
He wonders.
Will the ball make it over the plate?
Will there be a hit?
Will he strike the batter out?
When a worker plans their vacation,
They wonder.
Will there be hills to climb?
Will the countryside be green?
Will who they meet be friendly?
When an artist stands in a meadow,
They wonder.
Will the tall grasses make a good painting?
Will there be enough colors?
Will the painting hang in someone’s home?
When a student raises their hand in class,
They wonder.
Will I be the only one to speak?
Will my words come out right?
Will I shine?
When a girl likes a boy,
She wonders.
Will the boy think she is pretty?
Will he like her?
Will they hold hands?
And just as there is realistic fiction,
In one’s own personal story,
There is fantastic fiction,
In one’s wide imagination.
Imagining as you drive down a wooded road,
There are fairies hiding in the trees.
Imagining the foxes beyond your house,
Are having conversations.
Imagining the town next to yours,
Is housing for ghosts.
While people may never voice these thoughts,
They are there,
In everyone’s minds.
It is these thoughts,
That connect us.
That make us the same.
We are all wonderers,
We are all writers,
Just some without ink.
 | Some of Ree's earliest memories are with a book in her hand, and today, she still loves to read stories of all kinds, from children’s poetry to adult suspense novels. Before her love of reading turned into a love of writing, she took many turns in her life, some of which were an accountant, a retail clerk, and a volunteer worker for abused women. When she and her husband started their family, she became a stay-at-home mom to two boys. It was then, in a few solitary moments, she put a pencil in her hand and discovered a love of writing. Now, she spends her mornings in Eastern PA creating stories of her own with her writing partner by her side, a sleepy greyhound. Quiet things inspire her: a word, a child’s desire, a tug in her heart. Afternoons and evenings are for family, friends, and lots of daydreaming. |
Pairing Down Paragraphs:
Seven Tips for Paragraph-Level Revision
You’ve reread that first draft and are confronted with the reality that most writers have at this point: your paragraphs are bulky. What can you do to shape up your work? Here are seven tips to help you trim down at the paragraph level:
1. Essential Information
When drafting, there is a tendency to overwrite. You are thinking through your story and figuring things out, often including extras you don’t need in the final story. How can you tell if something is extra or not? Ask yourself:
- Does it move the plot forward?
- Does it reveal character?
- Is it necessary for the setting?
- Is it integral to the theme?
2. Vary Sentence Structure
Another way to clean up your paragraphs is to take a look at the types of sentences you have. Variety keeps the reader interested. If you have a paragraph full of long sentences, figure out how you can trim some of those down. Short sentences are also a way to get reader attention. They work.
Draft Version
Jumping through the tangled twist of vines, he found himself sinking quickly in a huge pool of quicksand. He kicked his legs and yelled for help while searching his surroundings for anything that could help him get out. As he reached for a nearby branch, the leaves parted and a jaguar growled loudly and sunk down, ready to leap forward. (word count 60)
Revised version
He leapt through the tangled vines and landed on soft ground. Too soft. He sank down to his knees. Before the quicksand swallowed him entirely, he grabbed a nearby branch. A vicious growl shook the trees. The leaves parted. A jaguar slunk down on his haunches. (word count 46)
Draft Version
Jumping through the tangled twist of vines, he found himself sinking quickly in a huge pool of quicksand. He kicked his legs and yelled for help while searching his surroundings for anything that could help him get out. As he reached for a nearby branch, the leaves parted and a jaguar growled loudly and sunk down, ready to leap forward. (word count 60)
Revised version
He leapt through the tangled vines and landed on soft ground. Too soft. He sank down to his knees. Before the quicksand swallowed him entirely, he grabbed a nearby branch. A vicious growl shook the trees. The leaves parted. A jaguar slunk down on his haunches. (word count 46)
3. Summary Sentences
One key thing to remember is the reader can infer. You don’t always need to be direct. Summary sentences are those that sum up what was just shown to the reader. The writer really wants to make sure the reader gets it, not realizing they already do.
Maddux bolted across the room and shoved his head under my feet. With each crash of thunder he jumped. Tiny, desperate whimpers streamed from his mouth. It was storming and he was scared.
The last sentence is unnecessary because it was already shown and the reader knows.
Maddux bolted across the room and shoved his head under my feet. With each crash of thunder he jumped. Tiny, desperate whimpers streamed from his mouth. It was storming and he was scared.
The last sentence is unnecessary because it was already shown and the reader knows.
4. Trimming Visual Description
More isn’t always better. This is often the case with visual description. A few telling details show much more than a full paragraph of general information. Hone your description down to what is interesting and what matters. Readers will build their own visuals and don’t need as much hand-feeding as you may think.
General Description
Shelves filled with books covered three of the walls. An old picture hung on the other. Morning sun filtered through a floor-to-ceiling window behind a massive oak desk. An antique globe stood in one corner and a grandfather clock in the other. A red and cream oriental rug took up most of the floor. (word count 54)
This is a general office setting — so general it could by anyone’s office. Cutting it down and focusing on details essential to the character gives a much better insight.
This is a general office setting — so general it could by anyone’s office. Cutting it down and focusing on details essential to the character gives a much better insight.
Telling details description
A massive oak desk occupied the room, the wood worn down in places from many elbows over many decades. The only picture hanging behind it, a framed portrait of his father. Books filled the shelves, all coated with a layer of dust except one —The Little Prince. (word count 46)
5. Past Perfect "Had"
One bad habit that clutters paragraphs is to overuse the word “had” when writing a flashback or previous event in the past tense — the past tense in the past tense. For example:
Minerva slammed on the breaks. The pedestrian tapped his phone, completely unaware. They were both lucky this time. Last winter she had lost control of her Honda Odyssey and had swerved through an intersection. She had skidded onto the sidewalk and…
That’s a lot of “had.” When writing the past perfect, you usually only need to include the first had. The rest are implied. The reader knows it’s a flashback.
…They were both lucky this time. Last winter she had lost control of her Honda Odyssey and swerved through an intersection. She skidded onto the sidewalk and…
Minerva slammed on the breaks. The pedestrian tapped his phone, completely unaware. They were both lucky this time. Last winter she had lost control of her Honda Odyssey and had swerved through an intersection. She had skidded onto the sidewalk and…
That’s a lot of “had.” When writing the past perfect, you usually only need to include the first had. The rest are implied. The reader knows it’s a flashback.
…They were both lucky this time. Last winter she had lost control of her Honda Odyssey and swerved through an intersection. She skidded onto the sidewalk and…
6. Tightening Dialogue
Dialogue should be crisp, every word examined carefully to ensure there is no fluff. It must move the plot forward or reveal character. If it doesn’t, cut it. Here are some places to trim back:
- Greetings and routines: Skip the Good morning and How are you as well as other routine parts of conversation. They aren’t interesting and aren’t needed to move the plot forward.
- Something the character already knows: If the character in your scene knows the date or what happened at the movies or whatever else, don’t put it in the dialogue just for it to be repeated to the reader. It makes the conversation inorganic.
- Reconveying an event: Likewise, if one character needs to sum up an event to bring another character up to speed, you don’t need to state everything that happened in the dialogue. Put in a narrative line like Sam told her what happened at the movies instead.
- Speaker tags: This is another area to remember the reader can infer. You don’t need a speaker tag with every line, especially if there is a character action after a line of dialogue. (“I don’t care what your mother thinks.” Sam slammed the book on the table.) Study the speaker tags in some of your favorite recently published books to get an idea of when they are used and how often.
7. Cartoonish Characters
This is what happens when too many character reactions are in a scene. He/She becomes a silly, exaggerated version of themselves, especially when those reactions are extreme. For example:
Mariella slammed her fists on her hips. “You told me you would be home six hours ago,” she yelled.
“I tried to call,” Tom said.
Mariella tapped her foot. “I didn’t have any missed calls,” she huffed.
“Maybe your phone isn’t working.”
Mariella clenched her teeth and stomped over to him. “You’re lying!” she screamed. Her heart hammered in her chest and her cheeks were red with rage.
Let’s be honest. Mariella is pretty annoying here. Cut back the character reactions to make her more realistic.
Mariella slammed her fists on her hips. “You told me you would be home six hours ago,” she yelled.
“I tried to call,” Tom said.
Mariella tapped her foot. “I didn’t have any missed calls,” she huffed.
“Maybe your phone isn’t working.”
Mariella clenched her teeth and stomped over to him. “You’re lying!” she screamed. Her heart hammered in her chest and her cheeks were red with rage.
Let’s be honest. Mariella is pretty annoying here. Cut back the character reactions to make her more realistic.
Hopefully these tips help you pare down your paragraphs and focus on content that really propels your story forward. These are all suggestions and not hard and fast rules of what not to write. You are the master of your story…now master it!
 | Previously an elementary teacher, Arielle Haughee (Hoy) is a five-time RPLA-winning author and the owner of Orange Blossom Publishing. She is an editor, speaker, and coach. She is the author of The Complete Revision Workbook for Writers, the children’s books Grumbler, Joyride, Pling’s Party, and Sixth Sunday, the editor of the How I Met My Other anthology series, and the creator of the Focus Journal line of journals. She was also honored with the President’s Award from the Florida Writers Association in 2020. She has a serious reading addiction, fantasy romance her absolute favorite, and loves nothing more than good conversation paired with a good wine. She is surrounded by males at home—a husband, two sons, and an energetic dog—and tries to integrate as much purple and flowers in the house as possible. |
Post by Arielle Haughee
25 Summer Writing Prompts
It’s gotten hot, the grass is fried…and so is your brain. Well good news! We have a batch of writing prompts as big as a five-scoop sundae. So do a few stretches, get that pencil ready, and take a gander at 25 summer writing prompts.
Word Prompts Based on Images
Check out the following picture bank and see if any of these spark something for you.
Writing Prompts Based on Senses
Sensory details make things vivid for the reader. Maybe one of these will brings ideas to life for you.
- the cool, sweet crunch of watermelon
- grains of sand falling through your fingers
- the savory aroma of burgers sizzling on the grill
- the constant strained thrumming of an air conditioner
- fuchsia crepe myrtle flowers swirling on top of crystal clear pool water
Writing Prompts Based on Action
I used the word “you” in here, but of course it could be a main character instead. Adapt as you feel necessary.
- You sprint into the crashing waves. Something rips you under the water.
- The dog trembles with each boom of thunder. Rain seeps in and pools on the window sill.
- Children squeal at the sight of the ice cream truck and race to the street.
- Fireworks crack in the air. You smack a mosquito on your arm. Nausea rolls through your stomach.
- The boat bobs in the water. All your muscles relax. You close your eyes and the sun kisses your eyelids.
Writing Prompts Based on Dialogue
This dialogue could be used in the piece you write, or just as a jump start to get your scene going.
- “I never thought I’d see a sunset like this again.”
- “My mother always warned me about storms like this.”
- “We never had air conditioning where I grew up. Just good ol’ fashioned sweat.”
- “Is a grill supposed to be doing that?”
- “You’ll never believe what I found inside this strange shell.”
Writing Prompts Based on Concepts
- opposites: the deafening sound of harmless cicadas compared to the silent waves of lethal heat floating up from the pavement
- reversal: the love of a fresh new season full of possibilities turning to loathing of fun never had, days dragging on
- parallelism: the bright colors of beach umbrellas, summer fruits similar to the brightness of the sun and the happiness of the season
- personification: heat as a character; mosquitoes with clear, evil intent; thunderstorms following you intentionally
- flashback: someone puts a colorful, children’s popsicle in your hand and it brings you back to…
We hope you got some inspiration from our 25 summer writing prompts. Could you help us out and leave a comment letting us know which section or prompt was most helpful to you? That will help us with the next list. Thank you and happy writing!
| | Previously an elementary teacher, Arielle Haughee (Hoy) is a five-time RPLA-winning author and the owner of Orange Blossom Publishing. She is an editor, speaker, and coach. She is the author of The Complete Revision Workbook for Writers, the children’s books Grumbler, Joyride, Pling’s Party, and Sixth Sunday, the editor of the How I Met My Other anthology series, and the creator of the Focus Journal line of journals. She was also honored with the President’s Award from the Florida Writers Association in 2020. She has a serious reading addiction, fantasy romance her absolute favorite, and loves nothing more than good conversation paired with a good wine. She is surrounded by males at home—a husband, two sons, and an energetic dog—and tries to integrate as much purple and flowers in the house as possible. |
Summer Reading
If you have children in school, you're probably familiar with the suggested summer reading lists. Even if it's not an official list, it's encouraged to keep kids reading and engaged throughout the summer. Orange Blossom Publishing has books for every level from picture books to YA reads. Something for everyone.
Picture Books/Early Elementary +
Picture books are often seen as early elementary books, but children and adults of all ages can enjoy a beautiful picture book.
- Sixth Sunday:
- I want Mom to break the rules. She says she will on the sixth Sunday of the month...
Bed jumping contests, splatter art, talking sandwiches, and all kinds of fun happens when Mom cuts loose. A story of merriment, silliness, and family love.
- I want Mom to break the rules. She says she will on the sixth Sunday of the month...
- Joyride:
- Joyride is a story of trying new things and learning how to find happiness wherever you are.
- Joyride is a story of trying new things and learning how to find happiness wherever you are.
- Pling's Party:
- In this book, children will learn to identify exclamation points in text as well as observe how an exclamation point makes sentences more exciting.
- In this book, children will learn to identify exclamation points in text as well as observe how an exclamation point makes sentences more exciting.
- Grumbler:
- "A clever and heartwarming tale starring a grouchy hero." -Kirkus Reviews
- "A clever and heartwarming tale starring a grouchy hero." -Kirkus Reviews
- Piper:
- Piper is a story of staying positive in challenging situations and recognizing that we control how we react to stressors. It teaches children the value of optimism and finding happiness within.
- Piper is a story of staying positive in challenging situations and recognizing that we control how we react to stressors. It teaches children the value of optimism and finding happiness within.
Coming Soon:
Pocky is an octopus who loves giving hugs. Everyone MUST get a hug. That's how Pocky makes friends. But when a new fish comes to the reef who doesn't want to be hugged, Pocky must learn how to make friends without touching. And he learns about this new thing called consent. Can Pocky keep his tentacles to himself and still make friends?
Late Elementary/Middle Grade Books
For the readers of chapter books, the children who want to be drawn into a story of their own.
- Doomsday Dani:
- It’s 1999, and twelve-year-old Dani Collier is preparing for Y2K or, in her view, the end of the world.
- Emma and the Queen of Featherstone:
- Emma’s life revolves around the Company’s Mars Terraforming fast track program. Stuck between her parents’ never-ending Mars shuttle supply runs and her own coursework in the program, Emma dreams of adventure outside of the Company’s plan for her.
- Stone Angel Society:
- The Stone Angel Society is a collection of five short stories about ghosts and the living who believe in them.
- The Stone Angel Society is a collection of five short stories about ghosts and the living who believe in them.
- Millie and the Kitchen Witch:
- Millie hopes winning an annual baking contest will help bring notoriety and customers to the struggling diner like it does every year. This year more than any other, the Kitchen Witch needs the boost in sales. It should be an easy win.
- Millie hopes winning an annual baking contest will help bring notoriety and customers to the struggling diner like it does every year. This year more than any other, the Kitchen Witch needs the boost in sales. It should be an easy win.
YA Reads
Teens and adults alike will fall in love with these Young Adult books.
- Mass:
- Sixteen-year-old Stevie Albie is a religious person, but nothing prepares her for meeting Mary. Like the Mary, mother of Jesus. Just as Stevie becomes convinced she has a special connection with God, doctors discover a brain tumor in her frontal lobe they claim is causing the hallucinations.
- Sixteen-year-old Stevie Albie is a religious person, but nothing prepares her for meeting Mary. Like the Mary, mother of Jesus. Just as Stevie becomes convinced she has a special connection with God, doctors discover a brain tumor in her frontal lobe they claim is causing the hallucinations.
- Early Summer:
- Helene Denny worries about everything, even the prospect of leaving home to attend college. It doesn’t help that she’s fascinated with serial killers.
- Helene Denny worries about everything, even the prospect of leaving home to attend college. It doesn’t help that she’s fascinated with serial killers.
- Our Own Little Underworld: (Coming June 6)
- A YA Hades and Persephone retelling
- A YA Hades and Persephone retelling
Whether you pick up a few of these great reads, or stock up at your local library, we hope you'll spend some of your summer reading.
 | .Tonya Spitler is a personal assistant who loves working with authors and publishers. An avid reader since the age of four, she loves to read all things that have a Happily Ever After. Currently, she is working on her own novels, encouraging authors on their road to success, and wrangling her three teens. Visit www.anovelchoicellc.com to find out more. |
Post by Arielle Haughee
Quit Telling Me to “Enjoy It!”
- Four Tips for Busting through the Forced Happiness Trap
“Enjoy every minute!” It seems like there’s always an elderly lady at Publix saying this to me while I’m rushing to escape, lugging my toddler who refuses to sit in the cart while telling my three-year-old for the fifth time not to crush all the chips in the bag he insisted on getting.
Then there’s the quote frequently shared on Facebook that says something about never having this day again with your kids so you should cherish it.
And of course the helpful neighbor who tells me “these are the best years” of my life so I need to love everyday. Why does it seem like moms are constantly bombarded with messages forcing happiness? I’m supposed to be enjoying this time with my kids, I mean REALLY enjoying it. And if I’m not, then I’m apparently making some kind of terrible mistake.
I personally find the idea that moms should have a perma-smile beyond irritating. In fact, if I see a mother with a constant grin stretched across her face, I’m going to recommend a good therapist, that or compliment her Joker impersonation. It’s not physically possible to enjoy every single minute I spend with my little ones, so why do I still feel like I should?
Believe it or not I was actually getting mad at myself for not being happy more often. Then of course I remained unhappy and got mad at myself all over again, like being stuck on a really awful ferris wheel of self mom-shaming. I kept questioning whether or not I was enjoying our stroll around the mall enough and not really knowing if I was having any fun at all anymore.
I wanted to be genuinely happy and enjoy my time with my children naturally, not because I felt like it was some sort of requirement. So I decided to refocus and let go of the pressure I felt to be a smiling robo-mom all the time. Here are four things I found that help let go of the hyper-happy expectation and allow moms to enjoy days organically:
Then there’s the quote frequently shared on Facebook that says something about never having this day again with your kids so you should cherish it.
And of course the helpful neighbor who tells me “these are the best years” of my life so I need to love everyday. Why does it seem like moms are constantly bombarded with messages forcing happiness? I’m supposed to be enjoying this time with my kids, I mean REALLY enjoying it. And if I’m not, then I’m apparently making some kind of terrible mistake.
I personally find the idea that moms should have a perma-smile beyond irritating. In fact, if I see a mother with a constant grin stretched across her face, I’m going to recommend a good therapist, that or compliment her Joker impersonation. It’s not physically possible to enjoy every single minute I spend with my little ones, so why do I still feel like I should?
Believe it or not I was actually getting mad at myself for not being happy more often. Then of course I remained unhappy and got mad at myself all over again, like being stuck on a really awful ferris wheel of self mom-shaming. I kept questioning whether or not I was enjoying our stroll around the mall enough and not really knowing if I was having any fun at all anymore.
I wanted to be genuinely happy and enjoy my time with my children naturally, not because I felt like it was some sort of requirement. So I decided to refocus and let go of the pressure I felt to be a smiling robo-mom all the time. Here are four things I found that help let go of the hyper-happy expectation and allow moms to enjoy days organically:
Allow yourself to have a bad day.
It’s okay if your fun plans were ruined by a frowny-faced four-year-old refusing to participate at the splash pad, or even worse, someone suddenly forgetting how to nap when you’re on a family vacation. You don’t need to spend time beating yourself up because things didn’t turn out perfectly. And it’s okay to just have a normal day. Not every single day needs to be a celebration of all that is family and shared on Facebook.
Give yourself a do-over.
If you find things have been going south for a bit, tell yourself that you get to have a restart. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine a beautiful sunrise over the water. It’s your new beginning and everyone gets to start again. Forget about the tantrum at the checkout in Sams and go forward like it never happened, releasing the anxiety from your mind. The kids have probably forgotten it already anyway, shouldn’t you? Even if you’ve found yourself in a situation where you’ve lost it, feeling guilty because you yelled at the preschooler for losing his shoes for the third time, you can still refresh your mind and begin again. Let go of the guilt for the slip up and tell yourself you’ll try harder to keep your cool next time.
Laugh at yourself and your situation as much as you can.
This may be hard, if not impossible, in the moment—like when you finally got around to making those protein smoothies for your baby since he doesn’t eat meat but he just tosses the expensive concoction all over the floor. It’s not funny at all when you’re mopping up cold blended fruit while your oldest child cracks up. Save it for later and joke about it with your partner telling him/her your floors got a lovely organic treatment today or plot your revenge with friends on a mom’s night out. (Eating a whole box of Oreos in front of them both without sharing sounds good to me.)
Reflect on things from your day that brought genuine happiness.
I started doing this with my husband after the kids were asleep. It’s surprising what truly made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, things I didn’t expect. It wasn’t during dinner time when we were all sitting down together as a family to eat and what people might expect for a warm, fuzzy experience. Dinner’s actually quite stressful for me with one picky eater and one very picky eater. It was when my oldest was “napping with mommy” (aka rolling around and keeping me awake) and he inched all the way to the edge of his pillow, as close to me as possible, and gave me the biggest grin with love pouring from his sweet brown eyes.
This practice helps me be more tuned in to my real feelings and allows me to feel genuine happiness during the day.
This practice helps me be more tuned in to my real feelings and allows me to feel genuine happiness during the day.
So now what should we say to those lovely ladies at Publix telling us to “Enjoy every minute!”? Somehow, I don’t think “I’m trying” quite covers it. I think I will just smile and laugh, truly enjoying the ridiculousness of it all.
Any other ideas?
Any other ideas?
| | Previously an elementary teacher, Arielle Haughee (Hoy) is a five-time RPLA-winning author and the owner of Orange Blossom Publishing. She is an editor, speaker, and coach. She is the author of The Complete Revision Workbook for Writers, the children’s books Grumbler, Joyride, Pling’s Party, and Sixth Sunday, the editor of the How I Met My Other anthology series, and the creator of the Focus Journal line of journals. She was also honored with the President’s Award from the Florida Writers Association in 2020. She has a serious reading addiction, fantasy romance her absolute favorite, and loves nothing more than good conversation paired with a good wine. She is surrounded by males at home—a husband, two sons, and an energetic dog—and tries to integrate as much purple and flowers in the house as possible. |
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Arielle Haughee is the owner and founder of Orange Blossom Publishing.
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