Pulse Reflections by Paula Pivko

Guest post by Paula Pivko

The Monster

2020 was the cruelest year breeding
ice cold storms from pain
and hatred long kept hidden
away from the sun’s light.
Something caged finally came out.

Kyrie Eleison
Kyrie Eleison

In 2021
The monster came
to our doorstep.
Kyrie Eleison

It was born on a day in 1999
At a school in Chicago.
When we said “they’ve
committed suicide. Surely,
this can’t happen again.
What do you know?
What do you remember?
I know only this.

I will give up the second
amendment when
they take it from my cold
my cold dead fingers.

The monster isn’t dead.
We learned this at
a school in 2012
It grew arms.
At a nightclub it grew feet.
Fed by our words.
“Of course we condemn
“the actions of the shooter.
“And pray for the families of
“the forty-nine dead.”

Kyrie Eleison

As we whisper or maybe shout.
But they are not our kind. They
shouldn’t have gone there.
Lead the good life and the Lord
Will protect you.

And of course we could
do nothing, just talk.
Restricting guns does no good.
Only criminals will have them.
In fact we need to
arm the teachers and
form the militia.

I’ll give up the second
When they pry it
from my cold, cold
dead fingers.
Let’s pray to our god and condemn the
young who cry at our doorstep.

Entitled children should go back to
where they belong.
Let us pray to our god ask for justice
for him to punish the sinners among us.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims.
We’ll root out the enemy
and chase him away.

Kyrie Eleison

Once we met the enemy
Who was he?
We met the enemy and
who was he again?

I do not know. I do not remember.

Now we hold drills
and five-year-olds
hide in closets.
We need that second
and the militia.
But do not let the trans
Serve in the military.

Don’t ask don’t tell.
It’s all an illness
if not a sin.
Don’t question a soldier
who likes to kill.
So long as he’s straight.
Don’t question the
cop who kneels
On another’s neck.
It’s not ours, after all.

Don’t do the crime then.
In 2021 it came back.

Kyrie Eleison

It broke the doors to our palace.
This monster that had gone to
a club for the wicked
Now brought us righteous
to our knees.
We cried out Oh Lord, Oh Lord
Why have you forsaken us?

Kyrie Eleison

We did not see for we could not.
We put cotton in our ears and blinded
ourselves like Oedipus.
So as to not hear the monster
call us his savior.
So we would not see our likenesses
In the monster’s blood red eyes.

Dies irae, dies illa
Quando Judex est venturus

The monster sleeps.
We stayed our hand again.​

And we,
we found too late when
the Judge came
It was not for those in some
den of a nightclub nor
for those we call sinners.
He came for us.
Dies irae, dies illa

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​ Paula Pivko started writing poetry and short stories at the age of 13.  Her poetry has been published in the Florida Writer Magazine, the ‘Teen Angst Anthology’ from 4 Horseman Publications, and Valiant Scribe’s ‘Vultures and Doves, Social Issues of our Times’ by Valiant Scribe. She lives in Port Saint Lucie, Florida with her two sons.